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These are the tales the freaky tales...
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The tales that I tell so well...
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I met this girl her name was Joan
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She loved the way I rocked the microphone
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When I met Joan I took her home
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She was just like a doggy all on my bone
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I met another girl her name was Ann
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All she wanted was to freak with a man
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When I met Ann I soked her pans
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We ended up freakin' by garbage can
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The next young freak I met was Red
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I took her to the house and she gave me head
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She likes to freak was all she said
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We jumped in the sheets and we broke my bed
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There's another girl, her name is Mary
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Talked about sex and the girl acted scary
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I heard she was freakin' for my homeboy Jerry
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Took her to the house and I popped that cherry
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Young and tender, sweet Denise
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Get her in the bed and the girl's a beast
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I tell you, homeboy, If you get a piece
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She only talks about signin' a lease
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I met this tender, her name was Lori
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And a X-rated movie wouldn't tell her story
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She had a twinsister, her name was Lisa
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And just like Lori, she's a real dick pleaser
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My girlfriend's name was Michelle, I freaked her well
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Her pussy got hotter than flames in hell
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I geed this girl, her name was Tammy
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I didn't wanna do it cause the bitch was flammy
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She had a best friend, her name was Jane
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I pulled to the side and I spitted that game
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I met a lot of freaks in my lifespine
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Freaked one night with a girl named Pam
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The very next day I saw her with her man
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One week passed and I was in her again
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I had an old tender, her name was Janie
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She was thirty-two and I was only eighteen
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She likes to freak, she's just a fiend
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It really didn't matter when I saw her in jeans
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I wanna big freak, fat and slobby
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I kick on back and I watch her mouth
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Two tons of fun, big mama jama
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A country-girl from Alabama
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I met this girl, her name was Betty
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Her pussy got wet and it smelled like death
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I was tired as hell, I was drippin' sweat
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But I was all up in her tryin' to hold my breath
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Bake and shake us, I met this freak in Vegas
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She said her name was Donna
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She was a pitty little freak from China
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I said I don't pimp or gigolo
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I'm havin' so much money that I don't need a hoe
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You can break yourself but you can't break me
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You never met a player like $hort, baby
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I knew a dick sucker named Betty-Jo
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Took her to my home and we did it on the floor
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The girl got freaky and I tell you more:
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She was down on her knees beggin' to blow
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She's like another freak named Ren`
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You get her alone and she'll make your day
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Like Burger King, she knows the play
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But a freak like Ren`, you can have it your way...
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These are the tales, the freaky tales...
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These are the tales that I tell so well...
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I met this girl, thick as hell
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Only sixteen, said her name was Linell
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I took her to my house, I could not wait
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Her shit was much tighter than Central Safe
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Let me tell you this since we talkin' young
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I met another girl, said her name was Yvonne
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Always talkin' about havin' fun
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Once again in the bed I got it goin' on
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I'm Sir Too $hort, couldn't be no punk
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I try to get funky like female funk
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So when you see me comin' or see me goin'
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I keep my money, let the hoes keep throwin'
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I once met a tender, she did it for free
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On the Foothill bust number forty-three
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All the way on the back she was workin' me
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Had my big beatbox and I was jammin' the beat
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I met this freak named aunt Winell
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Macked on the baby like an ice-cold vet
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Everythin' she had is what I get
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Cause I'm Too $hort, baby, I don't play that shit
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I met another freak, her name was Rita
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Baby thought that $hort just might eat her
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I told her like this, she can suck my peter
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Or even go home cause I knew I didn't need her
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Scratched her name off my telephone book
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Never again I took a second look
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Cause the next young freak, her name was Sharon
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She kept lookin', well, I kept stairin'
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Her booty was stuffed in the jeans she was wearin'
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She never left, she cutted out
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I know you all know what I'm talkin' about
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There's a freak named Shane, such a sinner
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She smokes that pipe and she's gettin' thinner
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Shane is cool but her mind is gone
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One fat rock and it's goin' on
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She had another buddy, came by my place
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Thick ass bitch, said her name was Grace
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She walked in the door wearin' a lace
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You shoulda seen that look that was on my face
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She's like this tender named Belinda
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Homeboys call her Belinda the Blender
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She gave head like she made it up
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She was twenty years old with a big round butt
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Had a girl slick like olive oil
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Her father was rich and the girl was spoiled
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When she got mad he blood would boil
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But I rapped her off like I'm lookin' a toy...
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These are the tales, the freaky tales...
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The tales that I tell so well...
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Shockedy life, Friday night, it's goin' on Too $hort
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Three weeks ago I met this freak
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She followed me around like Mary's sheep
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I hitted around the corner and when she came
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I grabbed her by the arm and I asked her name
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She said it was Nina and her man's in Santa Rita
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I took her to my home and homeboy, I geed her
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Set her on the way the very next way
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Playboy $hort was ready to play
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I bumped to this girl, her name was Roseanne
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We hitted the motel and got it goin' on
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Holiday Inn to the break of dawn
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When I took baby home, I freaked her mom
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I knew this tender named Shanie
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I took her to the house and let her freak on me
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Baby was a fan, she loved my beat
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But I wouldn't raise my leg to let her kiss my feet
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I met this freak named Yolanda
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Rolled baby doll like a brand new Honda
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I was on top and she was up under
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The bed hitted the wall and it sounded like thunder
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I once had a datewith girl named Kitty
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She was so fine with big fat tiddies
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All night long she was actin' shitty
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So i macked on baby like I was Frank Nitti
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There's another girl, her name is Rose
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I use to roll baby like brand new Volvos
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I never saw Rose wearin' clothes
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She's a pimp house pet, ready to pose
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I was ridin' down the street when I met Janet
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Her booty was bigger than the whole damn planet
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Ass everywhere, I just can't stand it
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Tried to poem it but I could not manage
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I had this freak, her name was Bunny
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Said I was the only man who ever called her honey
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Everythin' I did to her was funny
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I macked on bunny and I took her money
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Eight tonight a date with Shirlie
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She was really short and her hair was curly
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If you saw baby you liked this girlie
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She was so fine I went to get her early
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Shirlie was freakin' like a girl named Rachel
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Her bite was vicious and it sure was fatal
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She liked to kiss all on my neval
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Those are her lips on top of my label
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I knew another freak, her name was Candy
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Real big lips and they came in handy
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I smooth got worked and it was so dandy
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I hooked the brood up with my homeboy Randy
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He did me a favor in return
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Gave me a lizard, said her name was Laverne
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Baby got tossed and I got it on
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I grabbed the mic and started to sing my song
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My young homeboy heard me rap
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And said he had way more freaks than that
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So I told him like this: they might be freakin'
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But, boy, you never had that T-P-Treatment...
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Freaky Tales
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| Too Short |
