[Eminem]
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May I have your attention please?
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May I have your attention please?
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Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
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I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
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We're gonna have a problem here..
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Y'all act like you never seen a white person before
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Jaws all on the floor like Pam, like Tommy just burst in the door
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and started whoopin her ass worse than before
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they first were divorce, throwin her over furniture (Ahh!)
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It's the return of the... "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding,
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he didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"
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And Dr. Dre said... nothing you idiots!
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Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement! (Ha-ha!)
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Feminist women love Eminem {*vocal turntable:
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chigga chigga chigga*} "Slim Shady, I'm sick of him
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Look at him, walkin around grabbin his you-know-what
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Flippin the you-know-who," "Yeah, but he's so cute though!"
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Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
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But no worse, than what's goin on in your parents' bedrooms
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Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can't
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but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
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"My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips"
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And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
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And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
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And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is
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Of course they gonna know what intercourse is
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By the time they hit fourth grade
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They got the Discovery Channel don't they?
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"We ain't nothing but mammals.." Well, some of us cannibals
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who cut other people open like cantaloupes {*SLURP*}
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But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
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then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
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{*EWWW!*} But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
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Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes
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Chorus: Eminem (repeat 2X)
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I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
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All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
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So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up,
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please stand up, please stand up?
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[Eminem]
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Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell his records;
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well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too!
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You think I give a damn about a Grammy?
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Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
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"But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
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Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here?
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So you can, sit me here next to Britney Spears?
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Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
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so I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
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and hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first
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You little bitch, put me on blast on MTV
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"Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee-hee!"
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I should download her audio on MP3
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and show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD {*AHHH!*}
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I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me
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so I have been sent here to destroy you {*bzzzt*}
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And there's a million of us just like me
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who cuss like me; who just don't give a fuck like me
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who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me
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and just might be the next best thing but not quite me!
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Chorus
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[Eminem]
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I'm like a head trip to listen to, cause I'm only givin you
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things you joke about with your friends inside your living room
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The only difference is I got the balls to say it
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in front of y'all and I don't gotta be false or sugarcoated at all
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I just get on the mic and spit it
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and whether you like to admit it {*ERR*} I just shit it
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better than ninety percent of you rappers out can
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Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like valiums
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It's funny; cause at the rate I'm goin when I'm thirty
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I'll be the only person in the nursin home flirting
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Pinchin nurses asses when I'm jackin off with Jergens
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And I'm jerkin but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working
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And every single person is a Slim Shady lurkin
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He could be workin at Burger King, spittin on your onion rings
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{*HACH*} Or in the parkin lot, circling
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Screaming "I don't give a fuck!"
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with his wind ows down and his system up
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So, will the real Shady please stand up?
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And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
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And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
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and one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?
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Chorus 2X
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[Eminem]
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Ha ha
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Guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us
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Fuck it, let's all stand up
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-----------------
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Real Slim Shady
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| Various Artists |
