The Talkin' Song Repair Blues - Alan Jackson
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Genre/Lang. : Country
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The mechanic raised up from under my hood
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He shook his head and said, 'This ain't good
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Your timin' belt's done, shrunk one size too small
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Those spark plug wires are a little too long
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And your main prodsponder's nearly gone
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Your injector ports are stripped and that ain't all.'
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'The torque converter's runnin' low on torque
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And that water pump's nearly down a quart
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But we caught it all in time so you're in luck'
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He said, 'I've got the time and I've got the parts
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Just give me the word and I'm ready to start
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I think we can bring her in for eight hundred bucks.'
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But don't be downhearted, I can fix it for you, sonny
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It won't take too long, it'll just take money
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Then he said, 'Ain't you that songwriter guy?'
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I said, 'Yes, I am,' he said, 'So am I.'
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And he sat down and played me a song by the grease rack
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When he finished singin' he gave me a smile
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And I closed my eyes and pondered awhile
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And he said, 'What do you think? Now don't hold nothin' back.'
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Well, I gave him my most sorrowful look
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And I said, 'This song's got a broken hook
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I can order you a new one from Nashville but it won't be cheap
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And I know you've been using a cut-rate thesaurus
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'Cause your adverbs have backed up into your chorus
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Now your verse is runnin' on verbs that are way too weak.'
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But don't be downhearted, I can fix it for you, sonny
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It won't take too long, it'll just take money
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And I said, 'Hold on friend now I'm not through
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I hate to be the one to give you the news.
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But your whole melodic structure's done worked itself loose
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It's got so many dotted eighth notes in it
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I'd keep her under fifty beats per minute
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I mean, that's just me talkin', it's really up to you.'
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And you've got a bad safety problem with
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That dominant chord with the augmented fifth
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Just see how dangerously high it raises you up
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So just go on over there and work on my car
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I'll sit here by the fan and chances are
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I can straighten this thing out for eig...nine hundred bucks.'
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But don't be downhearted, I can fix it for you, sonny
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It won't take too long
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You guessed it
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It may be a hit
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I like it
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The Talkin' Repair Shop Blues
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| Alan Jackson |
