When the postman don't call on Valentine's day
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And Santa Claus don't come on a Christmas Day
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That umbrella won't work on a rainy day
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Don't ask me, I already know
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When they find you beached on the barrier reef
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And the only pleasure treasured is in map relief
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The choice is yours, sure, saint or thief
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Don't ask me I already know
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When they baked your cake in little slices,
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Kept your eyes on rising prices,
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Wound up winning booby prizes;
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I'm sure you'd like to think you know what life is
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Find destiny through magazines
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Liplicking, unzipping
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Harpers and Queens
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From here to eternity,
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Without in-betweens,
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Don't ask me, I already know
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With your heart on parade and your heart on parole
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I hope you find a sucker to buy that mink stole
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School for scandal,
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Guess who's enrolled?
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So ask me, I already know
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When they find you beached on the barrier reef
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When the postman don't call on Valentine's Day
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When the only pleasure treasured is in map relief
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When you don't tell the truth, that's the price you pay
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When I'm shaking a hand, I'm clenching a fist
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If you gave me a pound for the moments I missed
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And I got dancing lessons for all the lips I shoulda kissed
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I'd be a millionaire
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I'd be a Fred Astaire
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Valentine's Day
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