(C.W. McCall, Bill Fries, Chip Davis)
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Now Arnold Jones an' MaryBeth Jensen's in a 'Vette down by the Deep Rock
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Had John Denver on the 8-track, gettin' high
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MaryBeth's wig was on the floor
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An' Arnold's feet was out the door
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When we shined our flashlight in Arnold's startled eyes
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I says "What chew doin' boy?
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Don't chew know that's against the law?
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We just gonna hafta get this situation under control
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Now my name is Fairweather Lewis an' this here's Willard Clark
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We the Pottawattamie County Love Patrol."
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Then two hippies in a Chevy's puffin' grass an' sippin' wine
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'Bout fourteen mile south-east a' Council Bluffs
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They's passin' 'round the peace-pipe
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When we caught 'em with our flashlight
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An' Willard's hairy hands applied the cuffs.
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I says, "Boys you got some trouble
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You committin' herb-i-cide.
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We just gonna hafta get this situation under control
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'Cause I'm Fairweather Lewis, an' this here's Willard Clark
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We the Pottawattamie County Weed Patrol."
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Then we spied ol' Marvin Kline a-headin' south on twenty-nine
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Like a midnight auto ac-cessory store on wheels
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His trunk was full a' hub caps
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An' his back seat full a' tires
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When we picked him up and made him spread his heels
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I says, "Hands up-on the wall, boy
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You allowed t' make one call
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We just gonna hafta get this situation under control
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Cause, see, I'm Fairweather Lewis, an' this here's Willard Clark
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We the Pottawattamie County Rip-off Patrol."
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Then Orval Hinkle left the Go-Go Club on his brand-new motor-sickle
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Runnin' stop-lights, raisin' hell an' causin' accidents
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His brain was doin' wheelies
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An' his blood was three-two beer
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When we nailed him in his driveway at his residence
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I says, "Orval, you're in trouble boy
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But if you'll blow this here balloon up
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We gonna get your situation under control
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Now I'm Captain Fairweather Lewis an' this here's Willard Clark
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We the Pottawattamie County Juice Patrol."
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Then we's passin' by the Dew Drop Inn when he heard this woman scream
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So we pulled on in an' parked an' got the guns out
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Well we bashed on through the lobby into unit seventeen
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There's twenty-eight folks in there without no clothes on.
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I says "Everbody up against the wall; show us yer identification.
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We just gonna definitely get this situation under control
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'Cause my name is Fairweather Lewis, an' this here's Willard Clark
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We the Pottawattamie County Sin Patrol."
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C'mon, Willard, let's go sneakin' 'round in the dark some more, never know what yer gonna find.
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Lewis And Clark
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C.W. McCall |