You know parents are the same no matter time nor place
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They don't understand that us kids are gonna make some mistakes
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So to you, all the kids all across the land
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There's no need to argue, parents just don't understand
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I remember one year
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My mom took me school shopping
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It was me, my brother, my mom, oh, my pop, and my little sister
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All hopped in the car
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We headed downtown to the Gallery Mall
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MY mom started bugging with the clothes she chose
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I didn't say nothing at first
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I just turned up my nose
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She said, "What's wrong? This shirt cost $20"
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I said, "Mom, this shirt is plaid with a butterfly collar!"
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The next half hour was the same old thing
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My mother buying me clothes from 1963
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And then she lost her mind and did the ultimate
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I asked her for Adidas and she bought me Zips!
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I said, "Mom, what are you doing, you're ruining my rep"
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She said, "You're only sixteen, you don't have a rep yet"
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I said, "Mom, let's put these clothes back, please"
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She said "no, you go to school to learn not for a fashion show"
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I said, "This isn't Sha Na Na, come on Mom, I'm not Bowzer
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Mom, please put back the bell-bottom Brady Bunch trousers
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But if you don't want to I can live with that but
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You gotta put back the double-knit reversible slacks"
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She wasn't moved - everything stayed the same
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Inevitably the first day of school came
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I thought I could get over, I tried to play sick
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But my mom said, "No, no way, uh-uh, forget it"
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There was nothing I could do, I tried to relax
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I got dressed up in those ancient artifacts
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And when I walked into school, it was just as I thought
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The kids were cracking up laughing at the clothes Mom bought
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And those who weren't laughing still had a ball
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Because they were pointing and whispering
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As I walked down the hall
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I got home and told my Mom how my day went
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She said, "If they were laughing you don't need them,
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Cause they're not good friends"
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For the next six hours I tried to explain to my Mom
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That I was gonna have to go through this about 200 more times
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So to you all the kids all across the land
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There's no need to argue
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Parents just don't understand
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Oh-kay, here's the situation
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My parents went away on a week's vacation and
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They left the keys to the brand new Porsche
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Would they mind?
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Umm, well, of course not
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I'll just take it for a little spin
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And maybe show it off to a couple of friends
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I'll just cruise it around the neighborhood
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Well, maybe I shouldn't
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Yeah, of course I should
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Pay attention, here's the thick of the plot
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I pulled up to the corner at the end of my block
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That's when I saw this beautiful girlie girl walking
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I picked up my car phone to perpetrate like I was talking
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You should've seen this girl's bodily dimensions
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I honked my horn just to get her attention
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She said, "Was that for me?"
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I said, "Yeah"
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She said, "Why?"
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I said, "Come on and take a ride with a helluva guy"
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She said, "How do I know you're not sick?
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You could be some deranged lunatic"
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I said, "C'mon toots - my name is the Prince =
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Beside, would a lunatic have a Porsche like this?"
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She agreed and we were on our way
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She was looking very good and so was I, I must say - word
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We hit McDonald's, pulled into the drive
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We ordered two Big Macs and two large fries with Cokes
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She kicked her shoes off onto the floor
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She said, "Drive fast, speed turns me on"
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She put her hand on my knee, I put my foot on the gas
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We almost got whiplash, I took off so fast
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The sun roof was open , the music was high
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And this girl's hand was steadily moving up my thigh
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She had opened up three buttons on her shirt so far
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I guess that's why I didn't notice that police car
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We're doing ninety in my Mom's new Porsche
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And to make this long story short - short
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When the cop pulled me over I was scared as hell
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I said, "I don't have a license but I drive very well, officer"
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I almost had a heart attack that day
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Come to find out the girl was a twelve-year-old runaway
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I was arrested, the car was impounded
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There was no way for me to avoid being grounded
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My parents had to come off from vacation to get me
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I'd ra |