you hadn't seen your father in such a long time
|
he died in the arms of his lover how dare he
|
your mother never left the house
|
she never married anyone else you took it upon yourself to console her
|
|
you reminded her so much of your father
|
so you were banished and you wonder why you're so hypersensitive
|
and why you can't trust anyone but us
|
but then how can I begin to forgive her so many years under bridges with dirty water
|
she was foolish and selfish and cowardly if you ask me
|
|
I don't know where to begin in all of my 50 odd years
|
I have been silently suffering and adapting perpetuating and enduring
|
who are you younger generation to tell me that I have unresolved problems
|
not many examples of fruits of this type of excruciating labour
|
|
how can you just throw words around like grieve and heal and mourn
|
I feel fine we may not have been born as awake as you were
|
it was much harder in those days we had paper routes uphill both ways
|
we went from school to a job to a wife to instant parenthood
|
|
I walked into his office I felt so self-conscious on the couch
|
he was sitting down across from me he was writing down his hypothesis I don't know
|
i've got a loving supportive wife who doesn't know how involved she should get
|
you say his interjecting was him just calling me on my shit?
|
|
just the other day my sweet daughter I was driving past 203 I walked up the stairs in my mind's eye
|
I remember how they would creak loudly
|
she was only responsive with a drink he was only responsive by photo
|
I was only trying to be the best big brother I could
|
|
i've walked sometimes confused sometimes ready to crack open wide
|
sometimes indignant sometimes raw
|
can you imagine I pay him 75 dollars an hour sometimes
|
it feels like highway robbery
|
and sometimes it's peanuts
|
I wish it could last a couple more hours
|
|
so here we both are battling similar demons (not coincidentally)
|
you see n getting beyond knowing it solely intellectually you're not relinquishing your majestry
|
you are wise you are warm you are courageous you are big
|
and I love you more now than I ever have in my whole life
|
|
-----------------
|
The Couch
|
| Alanis Morissette |
