[Intro]
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Good morning children
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Children, please sit down
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You all know me, Superintendent GTB
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We have something, extra special this morning
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Something ay sit down, Gracie, Xavier
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there's not going to be any of that, sit down
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We have two very special professors with us today
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MC Lars, and Weerd Science {YAYYYYYY!}
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They're here to teach all of us how to be, indie rappers
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[Weerd Science]
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[clears throat] AHEM!
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Here's a little rap about the steps that it takes
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to be an indie rapper, or who knows, one day one of the greats
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I'm not saying that it's easy but these steps can help
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if you follow 'em close you could carve out a career for yourself
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STEP ONE! Get your hide ready to tour in a van
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The limelight might sparkle but it's not real man
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STEP TWO! You've got to flood the internet with material
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Go serial, 'til it spreads like venereal
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STEP THREE! You've got to keep a close eye on your ticket stubs
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The only bottles you'll be poppin is the water from the club
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STEP FOUR! You can forget about the champagne and filets
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cause it's more like Tostitos and old PB&J
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STEP FIVE! This is probably one of the most important
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Never sign to a major and let your heart get extorted
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STEP SIX! You've got to book all the shows that you can
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And hopefully you get a chance to win the headliner's stance
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STEP SEVEN! Never mind all the pointin and the laughin
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Your girl won't be psyched you spent all your time rappin
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STEP EIGHT! Remember hip-hop's about being true
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Gotta go, peace, Weerd Science, more work to do
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[Chorus: repeat 2X]
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How to be an indie rapper - class is in session
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Take notes, and learn your lesson
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It's Weerd Science - and MC Lars
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If you follow our steps, you can go far
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[MC Lars]
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A is for the albatross they call a day job
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B is for the beats - make sure they sound way hot
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C is for the cash you collect on the road
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D is for the drives that you make to get to shows
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E is for the energy on stage that you need
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F is for the food, your band you need to feed
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G is for the gross on merch that you get
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H is for the half that goes to costs, don't get upset
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I is for your income, also known as net
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J is for the journey, who knows what to expect?
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K keep the L love, M major labels um
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N-O never sign to one, P keep your publishin
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Q is for Quickbooks, R save your receipts
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S for social networking, T technology
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U understand that building takes time
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V viral videos can supplement your rhymes
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On your brand dot com, W use the web
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Know it takes X years, a lot of work and sweat
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Y is for the "yes yes y'all" on the mic
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Z, zero compromise, you can stack that paper high
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[Chorus]
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[MC Lars]
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We be ballin on that indie rap tip (rap tip)
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Got a knot in my pocket that I'm happy to split
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Because a strong PMA goes a really long way
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when you find a niche to build from and you have a lot to say
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[Weerd Science]
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Find your own voice! That's a good point Lars (thanks)
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Whether you're rockin amphitheatres or playin half-filled bars
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You've got to bring it every night; if there's five people there
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they could be the five that spark and ignite your whole career
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[MC Lars]
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Hustlenomics 2.0, slangin similes and metaphors
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Alliterative assonance is what these kids all came here for
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We grab it, tag it, sell it, brand it, put it on the internet
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Interject and come correct, intercept that gingerbread
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[Weerd Science]
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Finding your own image in a business of copycats
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It's hard - MC Lars, you copy that? (Copy that)
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You figured out how to pay rent and be in this business
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Make a song about that I'm all ears like Will Smith is
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[Chorus]
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[Outro]
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That's it kids
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Be sure to do your homework for Monday's assignment
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"How to use tax writeoffs as a way to charge things
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as business expenses, that aren't really
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and it's not that ethical" [nervous laughter]
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-----------------
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How To Be An Indie Rapper
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| MC Lars Horris |
