And they say they know me
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'the fuck outta here
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only god knows what I been through man
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So if you wanna talk
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get your facts straight first
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and if you really wanna know
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let me ask you somethin
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Have you ever walked in the shoes of a giant?
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Or had to fill the position of a boss
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before you were even a client?
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It's no wonder growin up under the roof of a tyrant
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that I would be the poster boy for defiance
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Now I'm the voice of the silence
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Fuck bein quiet
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Ive seen 20 years worth of violence
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I'm tired
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It's a burden for me to open my eyelids
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Not an undercover cop
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But it's safe to say that I'm wired
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I cant even get a grip of my life with pliers
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I'm fucked up in the head
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Close my eyes cause I see demons 'round my bed
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So depressed open 'em up hoping I'm dead
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Thought the fame would make it better
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but it only fucked me over
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Used to never touch a bottle
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Now I'm hardly ever sober
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People wanna be my friend?
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But where the fuck were y'all when I was 10
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eleven and twelve gettin bullied
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and beat up in the gym
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I couldn't ever get a girl
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Now all a sudden I'm the man
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students try to get back cool with me again
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fuck em all
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Because guess where they gon' be
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when my records stop playin
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gone with the wind
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off of the records I'm saying
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that Kells fell off
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I knew it would happen
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Stop hatin
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cuz a month ago you was all over my jock
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sayin that I'm that motha fucka
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but now I'm whack motha fucka?
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My P--- changed but you cannot change facts motha fucka
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If you want bullet point than call me a gat motha fucka
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I lay my whole life out like a mat motha fucka
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and Ive experienced some things that would stop you from meetin
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My schitzophrenic cousin tried to end my life while I'm sleeping
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My bummy unlce wanna call now that he sees me succeeding
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My momma left me for a teach
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I lost my dad to the preaching
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Half my friends are buried 6 feet
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all the rest in the precint
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Literally watched my grandmother die from diabetes
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I guess my prayers were answered
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When my aunt got cancer and beat it
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Now I wanna get her outta job
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Give her the garden of eden
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I did a lot of bad shit
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God got even
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But for the price I had to pay
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I wish I'd stop breathing
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My girl sat in the bath tub
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8 hours bleedin
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hearing the doctor tell us our childs heart stopped beating
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Fuck a million
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I wouldn't take a doller for a life
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but i will do whats in my heart
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and trade this dollar for a mic
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I wrote this song in hopes
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that it could help someone get through the night
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but no intentions of gettin paid
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I'm just doin what is right
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I do it for the fans
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No the real fans
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Who stuck wit me through the storm
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Cause they understand
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That there's a genuine pain
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behind the words I'm sayin
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And they embrace me
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So I thank y'all for stayin
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Ain't it crazy?
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That passion is my achilles heel
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either that or keepin it way to real
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But they don't know how it feels
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To feed off the energy of a crowd
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Step on stage and they get loud
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And dad, Imma make you proud
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I know we don't speak right now
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But I think turning new leaves what we need right now
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I love you
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And you may not see right now
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But I'm beggin for forgiveness
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I'm on my knees right now
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You saw your son as a dropout
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Stuck around when I ran
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Saw your son as a felon
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Now see your son as a man
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See your son be a father
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To a beautiful child
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Or just see your son dad
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See me smile
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Who woulda thought what started at the bottom
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Would someday grow
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From 3 people in the crowd
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Unpaid shows
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6 people in the room
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1 meal a day
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Another opening act where no one knows my name
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saw the demos that I passed out
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layin on the ground
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Saw the rappers I befriended copyin my style
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Saw opportunities passed
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While these fakes got rich
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Now I can't stop speedin
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Like my brakes ain't shit
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For 6 months I went through hell and back
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Right at the height of my success
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all of a sudden doctors said I couldn't rap
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I had a polyp on my vocal chords
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left with a choice
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stop now or possibly lose my voice
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but I woke up every mornin
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and recorded till my throat swelled shut
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coughed blood up after every show
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cause it |