{*phone rings twice*}
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Yo.. "Hello 1-900-LL Cool J?"
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Yeah whassup? "Can you please bust a funky rhyme for me?"
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Yeah I can do that, check this one out honey
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I motivate, accelerate
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Devestate, and dominate
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I don't smoke crack so I won't lose weight
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Give me the {pussy} and the money and the mic and I'm straight
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Go to a resteraunt, give me steak
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Then cook my chicken with Shake'n'Bake
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I leave all the preachin to Reverand Flake
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How much money can one black man make? Huh
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I'm what's known as a true dynamiter
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I write rhymes fast without a typewriter
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Go with the flow, but no, I'm not a biter
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Can't compare a cock-a-roach and a spider
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Hell, you might as well get a glass of punch
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cause you're bitin my lyrics like a Nestle Crunch, huh
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And bitin my rhymes ain't slick
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I got your gold teeth marks all over my {*phone rings*}
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Complications and aggravation
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An unnecessary-sation
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I'm like Sunkist, good vibrations
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Your al-blum, sounds like a compilation
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Cool out, grab a seat and listen..
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cause I'ma start dismissin
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sucker MC's who's out there frontin
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Talkin all that yang, yo you smokin somethin
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Shoulda treated me royal, yo he wasn't loyal
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Now it's all about chaos and turmoil
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.. gimme that microphone
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I'ma show you the real meaning of the danger zone
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{*phone rings*}
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Yo.. "Hello is this 1-900-LL Cool J?"
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Yeah whassup? "Can you tell me what you do when you're coolin out?"
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Yo check this out
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Now when I'm coolin out, no time for a granny
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Just a fly girl in t-shirt and panties
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"Can LL {*censored*}?" Man, can he?
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I tell you what, give up the fanny
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Cause on a bedroom tomb, J swift
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Not too big, but nothin to play with
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In addition, you on a mission
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You need to audition for another position
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Doin damage is a crew tradition
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Name your next al-blum intermission
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You're full of preservatives -- plus,
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you're too conservative
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I'm full of flair, savoir faire, debonairre
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There's no competition, for this here
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So don't waste your time and breath
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I'm givin you all a big F
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MC's I envelop..
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.. as the song goes on, the rhyme develops
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I'm asiatic, acrobatic, charismatic
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You don't want no static
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Anyway, I ain't havin it!
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When I see the microphone -- I'm grabbin it
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Plug it in and take charge
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LL XL, Xtra-Large
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KnowhatI'msayin? Peace
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{*phone rings three times*}
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Hello?
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Hello whassup girl?
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How you doin girl? I been tryin to call you all day
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Word up I was talkin to LL he was kickin some mo' HYPED up rhymes to me
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Word, I spoke to him today too - them rhymes WAS pumpin
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Well not to cut you short but I gotta go cause my man is here
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Alright
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See-ya
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-----------------
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1-900-LL Cool J
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| L.L. Cool J |
