We're Aztec priests so mind your head,
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Our prisoners always wind up dead.
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Our favourite colour is blood red,
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We're not nice.
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At an Aztec temples opening day,
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We priest would please the gods this way.
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Hoards of enemies we'd slay,
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Mass sacrifice.
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To win at war, make crops grow more,
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To cure our kids when ill.
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The sun to shine, this song to rhyme,
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More victims we must kill.
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Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
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You won't survive! You won't survive!
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Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
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Ain't staying alive! Ain't staying alive!
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Year... !
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With scarifice, we priest appease,
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Our gods each powerful big cheese.
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Lets hear it for your favourits please! Haaa!
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We're doing it for Toci, the Aztec goddess of the earth's heart,
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We're doing it for Chantigo, goddess who makes volcanoes start.
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We're doing it for Itzli, the goddess of stone knives.
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We're doing it for Itzpapalotlometeotlchiconahuiehecatl,
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Errr? Some other gods great lives!
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Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
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Don't cross us Aztecz, we advise ya!
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Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
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Or you'll end up as fertiliser!
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Year... !
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Our year starts in november, when every priestly member,
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Is asked if they'll remember, our Aztec dead.
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We do this if you haven't guessed, by getting something off your chest,
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Your heart would proberbly be best, or else your head.
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And then on our year planners, it's the raising of the banners,
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And it's only polite manners, to kill more guys.
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December and January, desmembering methods vary,
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All you need to know, is that we pill them high.
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May and June, it's summer time, the killing is easy,
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It's only halfway through the year, bet you're feeling queasy.
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In autumn time, we sweep our home and kill some more but then,
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By late October, the killings over, then it starts up again!
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Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
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You won't survive! You won't survive!
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Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
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Ain't staying alive! Ain't staying alive!
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Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
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Want to live until you're old?
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Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
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Avoid us priests, you've been told!
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Aztec Priests Song
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Horrible Histories |