*featuring Too $hort
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[Too $hort]
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All rise...order in the court
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The honourable judge muthafuckin' Too $hort
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presidin' over Superior Players Court
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The first case is the State vs. Fate Wilson A.K.A. Baby Flex
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You bein' charged wit home invasion and hoe slaughter
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For fuckin' another nigga's bitch
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[Lil' Fate]
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Listen close to what I say
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Dog, it might hurt ya
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I be cuttin' ya girl while you be goin' to work bruh
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When she first called my conscience was like, "Hell naw, Fate don't"
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But she said, "I'm only around the corner", and popped her lil' punt
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Apartment 5-7-0-1, told her I was eatin' right now
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Be over there when I get done
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Got there, knocked on the door
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She opened up the door half naked, lookin' exquisite
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Ackin' mad 'cuz I ain't spoke to her since the last time a nigga hit it
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She said, "Don't worry forget it since we only have 30 minutes"
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'Fore her man came home for lunch
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So I bust my nut and raised up wit
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Five mnutes to spare, her man unaware
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I saw him in traffic, beeped the horn and threw a deuce in the air
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Yea I'm a playa
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But I feel guilty 'bout cuttin' a broad
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I need counselin' dog, 'cuz it's guilty as charged
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Simply because I felt victim to lust and
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Knowin' all the while it was my cousin girlfriend I had been fuckin' (Damn!)
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[Too $hort]
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The court finds you guitly as charged
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Your sentence is PUI school
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For pimpin' under the influence, nigga
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Next case...
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Oh we got us a repeat offender in the house
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Jenny Jones A.K.A. Shanwnna
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Same ol' charge...wanted in 8 states
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What's yo story this time?
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[Shawnna]
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Oh yes yo' honor I see we talkin' again
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I have no representation now shall we begin
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I know you seen my face before but...hold on my friend
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It's niggas gettin' away wit doin' the...same shit I did
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I...can't do no bid
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I got a mortgage and my kids
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In a forest by the bridge
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And I drives a Rolls Royce in a porridge wit dem grills
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So you undertand I was tryna pay me some bills
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When I was flippin' outta state while I was takin' a chill
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Shootin' deem and a couple friends, spend a couple ends
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Took the top off of the drop and let the bubble spin
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Niggas got off in my knot and let them troubles in
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So I decided to put that shit in my own hands
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None of these hoes can fuck me, only God judge me
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That man told me he love me and he flash money
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My only crime could just be livin' it filthy
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So let me hear it on mo' time--not guilty
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[Too $hort]
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Bailiff, take her into custody
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[Woman screaming]
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Oh, not my baby!
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Hell naw!
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[Too $hort]
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Next case...
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State vs. Velvet Jones A.K.A. Ludacris
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You bein' charged wit impeedin' how traffic
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Spendin' too much time tryna fuck one hoe
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How do you plead Mr. Jones?
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[Ludacris]
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Man I'm the pimp of all pimps and y'all comin' up short
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[Too $hort]
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Calm down before I hold yo ass contempt of court
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[Ludacris]
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Ya honor, just be cool, let me approach that bench
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And sprinkle seasonin' on yo ears 'bout how I choked that beeyotch!
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[Too $hort]
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Well did she promise you the pussy, mayn?
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[Ludacris]
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She ceratinly did
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I got empty McDonald's cups in my car and my crib
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She owe me sumthin', bitch betta show me sumthin'
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Wrap her legs around my waist and start to throw me sumthin'
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I'm simply the meanest, you lookin' at the stroke of a genius
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The only verdict made should be the subpoena uh this penis
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No objections or appeals, let's cut us a deal
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And I promise to tell the truth if my partner don't squeal
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She's awfully cautious, said the jury makes her nautious
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She said she said she'd suck my dick if I dropped the charges
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Oh no! Time to make ya kidneys shift
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[Too $hort]
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But didn't you fuck her best friend?
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[Ludacris]
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Oh, I plead the fifth
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[Too $hort talking]
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Yea, that sound like some shit you'll say
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Ol' pimp ass nigga
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Due to lack of evidence, I'm droppin' the charges
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Don't let me see you in here again
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Let this be a lesson learned
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If you don't know you player rules
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You liable to violate the game and get sent away for a long, long time
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Remember...never hate on a real player
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It ain't gon' get you nowhere, mayn
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It's a lot
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-----------------
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Pimp Council
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| Disturbing Tha Peace |
