Come and take a walk with me
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Through the streets of Chi-Town
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Let's look back
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And reminisce on all of the shit that went down
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Pastor Rufus Longs comes home to find his wife been sleepin' around with Sylvester (Oh, shit)
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Sylvester's cell phone rings; he comes outta the closet pointin' his Beretta (Oh, shit)
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Then they go through this thing: arguing, fussing, then time goes by
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And then Cathy finds out about Rufus' lover Chuck, the gay guy (Oh, shit)
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And then Sylvester calls home, never knowing that a man would answer his phone (Oh, shit)
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Then he got to his house; bust up in it
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To find his wife, Gwendolyn
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She was fuckin' around with this sausage-head-assed policeman
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And then they got into a fight (Oh, shit)
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Wrestlin' over a gun (Oh, shit)
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And Gwen screamin' "Stop!!" Next thing you know,
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They shot her brother Twan (Oh, shit)
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It was just a lick; he was barely hurt
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Now here comes Rose, the nosy neighbor
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She thinks she's the neighborhood Savior
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And then things got real twisted (Oh, shit)
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Police got home in his kitchen (Oh, shit)
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To find his wife Bridget (Oh, shit)
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Is pregnant by this midget
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Well, so far, that's how the story goes
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And now it's time to continue on
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So get ready:
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Here is chapter 13...
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Sylvester and Twan get in a car; Sylvester says, "Man, first of all, straighten yo hat.
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Now, man, I'm about to go holla at somebody, and I'mma need you to watch my back."
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Then Twan says, "Man, you ain't even gotta worry 'bout me, bra-lou, I'm straight."
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Sylvester says, "Yeah, you straight, a'ight, witcha hot-headed ass, nigga, just like when you caught that case."
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Twan says, "Aw, here we go, you bringin' that shit up. That wasn't shit but a misdemeanor."
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Sylvester says, "Misdemeanor, my ass. You did three years."
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Twan says, "Yeah, that was because of Roxanne and that bitch, Tina."
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"Man...yo sister asked me about a Tina."
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Twan says, "When I see her, I'mma kill her. What did Gwen ask you?"
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"She asked me if I knew her; I said she sound familiar."
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Sylvester says, "Hold up. Man, what you doin'?"
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And then Twan says, "Man, what you mean?"
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Then Sylvester says, "Man, is that a cigarette?"
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Twan says, "Man, nah. This some weed."
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Sylvester pulled (Whoo) over, sayin', "Aw, HELL naw."
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"Nigga, what the--?"
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"You forget where we are?"
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Twan say, "One for the road."
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Sylvester say, "You crazier than a fish with titties if you think I'mma let you smoke that shit up in my car. Now throw that shit out."
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Twan looks at Sylvester like he ain't tryin' to hear that
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Sylvester says, "Throw that shit out."
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Twan looks around and say, "Shit," and throws it out
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They pull off and Sylvester says, "Now this Roxanne and Tina, man, what's that all about?"
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Now, while they talk about that, let's head on over to Rosie the nosy neighbor's house
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She's peekin' out her window, sayin', "There's somethin' goin' on over there with Bernadine and Ted."
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Then her husband turns over and says, "Woman, what's wrong with you? Bring yo old, nosy ass back to bed."
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She says, "Now, Randolph, I don't like that tone you takin' with me."
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He says, "Oh, shut up, woman; you always invokin', get on folk, they privacy."
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Rosie says, "I can look out my God-damned window whenever I want."
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Randolph say, "Yeah? Well, what you lookin' at? What you lookin' at? Hmm?"
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Now Rosie and Randolph are arguin', screamin' at each other loud as they can
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Rosie says, "Randolph, ain't nobody studdin' you, so go on back to sleep with yo old, grumpy ass."
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Then Randolph say, "Shut yo ass up, woman! Shit! Folk gotta get some sleep around here."
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Then Rosie say, "Sleep? Shit! Mr. Can't-Get-It-Up, yo tired ass been sleep for the last five years!"
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"Now, watch yo mouth, woman!"
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"Go to Hell, Randolph! You don't tell me what to do!"
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("Can't nobody tell you nothin'! Yeah? Yeah?")
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"I'm a grown-ass woman; I can do whatever the hell I want to do."
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"Well, do it, then."
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"I'mma do it, then."
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"Do it, then."
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"I'mma do it, then."
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"Go on, look."
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"I'mma look."
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"And I hope a pigeon fly by here and shit on yo face."
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(Rosie gasps)
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| "Oh, Lord, forgive me for what I ha |
