Dear Abby,
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Got a problem. I'm a decent, underpaid, hardworking county coroner. It's
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important that my family eat meat at least three times a week. But we just can't
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afford to with the prices the way they are. So I bring home some choice cuts from my
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autopsy subjects. Just mix in the Tuna Helper:and ta-da!
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The whole family thinks my new meals are delicious. They ask me what's
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my secret. Abby, I think they're getting suspicious. My smart-ass 8-year-old keeps
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asking, "Where's all the meat? The red dye #2 kind that's kept in the fridge."
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If they find out the truth I don't think they'll understand. Abby, what do I tell
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my family?
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DEAR REAGANOMICS VICTIM: Consult your clergyman. Make sure the body's
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blessed and everything should be just fine.
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Dear Abby
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| Dead Kennedys |
