Mom got drunk and Dad got drunk at our Christmas party
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We were drinking champagne punch and homemade eggnog
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Little sister brought her new boyfriend
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He was a Mexican
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We didn't know what to think of him until he sang
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Felis Navidad, Felis Navidad
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Brother Ken brought his kids with him
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The three from his first wife Lynn
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And the two identical twins from his second wife Mary Nell
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Of course he brought his new wife Kay
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Who talks all about AA
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Chain smoking while the stereo plays Noel, Noel
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The First Noel
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Carve the Turkey
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Turn the ball game on
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Mix margaritas when the eggnog's gone
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Send somebody to the Quickpak Store
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We need some ice and an extension chord
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A can of bean dip and some Diet Rites
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A box of tampons, Marlboro Lights
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Haleluja everybody say Cheese
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Merry Christmas from the family
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Fred and Rita drove from Harlingen
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I can't remember how I'm kin to them
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But when they tried to plug their motor home in
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They blew our Christmas lights
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Cousin David knew just what went wrong
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So we all waited out on our front lawn
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He threw a breaker and the lights came on
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And we sang Silent Night, Oh Silent Night, Oh Holy Night
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Carve the turkey turn the ball game on
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Make Bloody Mary's
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Cause We All Want One!
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Send somebody to the Stop 'N Go
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We need some celery and a can of fake snow
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A bag of lemons and some Diet Sprites
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A box of tampons, some Salem Lights
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Haleluja, everybody say cheese
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Merry Christmas from the Family
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Merry Christmas From The Family
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| Robert Earl Keen |
