[J:] Hey Kage
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[K:] Jables
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[J:] How goes it man?
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[K:] S'gooda˘ć| s'good
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[J:] Y'know I been thinking a lot about it, and um, I just want us to be the
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best fucking band in the world.
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[K:] Well yeah me too!
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[J:] There's no point in doing it if we're not the best.
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[K:] Well s'true. I agree with that.
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[J:] I mean what, yeah we're gonna be, yeah we're really good. We're like
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almost as good as Arcade Fire, fuck that.
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[K:] Yeah
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[J:] We gotta leave those fuckers in the dust!
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[K:] What, what do you..
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[J:] All those fucking youngsters gotta lick our fucking boot or fuck it!
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Y'know what I mean?
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[K:] Yeah! Yeah, well what, how do we do that though?
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[J:] [sigh] Dude you need to fucking have some lessons.
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[K:] What!
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[J:] I know, you're really good but you gotta expand your game.
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[K:] Lessons!
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[J:] Y'know how Koby in the off season would go and like, learn a fucking,
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y'know a Texas Two-Step or something, to add to his arsenal?
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[K:] Man, yeah, that's true. That's true.
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[J:] Well I've just been noticing some of your classic riffs are a little sloppy.
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[K:] Really?
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[J:] And I, I hope you're not pissed off at me but I went ahead and hired a dude.
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[K:] Yeah? Oh no, what!
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[J:] Dude, just give it a chance will you? If you don't like- ah hey! I
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swear, if you don't like it we'll fucking fire his ass. He's out.
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[K:] Who is this guy? I nevera˘ć|
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[J:] His name is Felix Char [?]
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[K:] Urgh, what.
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[J:] He's from Spain and he is the best.
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[K:] Oh goda˘ć|
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[J:] I got him from the fucking London Phildsarmonic. (Meant to be Philharmonic)
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[K:] Urgh, I just, I don't know him, it seems weird!
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[J:] Will you just, will you just spend a minute with him?
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[K:] OK. Alright. I'll spend a minute with him.
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[J:] OK bro, he's right outside I'm sending him in.
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[K:] Oh god, OK. Why? Lessons, so stupid.
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[F:] Hello?
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[K:] Uh, hi!
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[F:] Hello, I am Felix Char.
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[K:] Hi, uh. Felix? Yeah, um.
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[F:] Ah, as, Jack as asked me to spend some time with you. Uh.
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[K:] OK, hm.
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[F:] One on one. So, while Jack is outside, ah we will work on your technique.
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[K:] OK.
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[F:] Can I see you pick up, is this your guitar here?
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[K:] Yup. Yeah, I gotta it, I gotta it right over here.
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[F:] Ah, it is a Fender ay? Is this a Fender?
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[K:] Ah well it's a Gibson.
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[F:] Yes a Gibson, yes. Made by the same, uh, manufacturer. Pick it up please, can you pick it up?
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[K:] OK. Yeah.
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[F:] No, no, no, d-d-d-d-d-d-d bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap!
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[K:] What? What'd I do? What'd I do?
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[F:] You pick it up from the neck! This is not the way you pick up a guitar!
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[K:] I just picked it up, I just-
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[F:] No,no, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, cA˘®llate tu bocar, pick it up from the body.
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[K:] The what!
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[F:] The body.
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[K:] Oh the body! Body, OK.
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[F:] I'm sorry about my accent.
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[K:] I didn't know, I didn't know.
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[F:] Now listen to me. I want you to play, like it is a woman. You go and play the guitar now. Play.
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[K:] Uh, OK? Uh.
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[F:] No, no, no, no, no. You, your fingers. Your fingers are too tight.
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[K:] They're too tight?
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[F:] Yes, let me get behind you. Like this, you see?
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[K:] Oh! Hn.
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[F:] If I put my finger, on your finger.
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[K:] Hey!
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[F:] Then you can feela˘ć|
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[K:] I can! Wait!
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[F:] Sh, sh, sh, sh, shu! Finger to your mouth. I put my finger on your mouth, on your lips.
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[K:] Mhmhm!
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[F:] Yes that's good.
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[K:] Hey man!
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[F:] Now listen hey, you want to play like an orgasm.
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[K:] I'm just try- what!?
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[F:] Feel this. Do you feel that?
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[K:] Oh god! This is really weird man!
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[F:] That's my cock.
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[K:] WHAT!
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[F:] That's my cock in your butt cheeks.
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[K:] OH GOD! Hey!
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[F:] Do you feel it?
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[K:] NO!
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[F:] Now I'm going to tough your cock.
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[K:] OW!
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[F:] Let me touch your penis.
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[J:] It's me!
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[K:] WHAT?!
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[J:] It's me. It's JB.
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[K:] GOD!
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[J:] There's no Felix dude.
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[K:] What are you doing?!
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[J:] I'M FUCKING WAKING YOU UP! I'M TRYING TO SHAKE YOUR FOUNDATIONS!
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[K:] By touching me with your penis?!
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[J:] YES! By fucking touching your penis! Whatever it takes!
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[K:] God!
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[J:] That's all I'm saying dude! I'm making a point! Let's get fucking
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| serious! Let's |
