When I woke up I was just like you
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But in today's paper on page 22
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I'm right there for all to see me in my entirety
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No longer will I live in relative obscurity
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You know the famous girl I'm with from movies and TV
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The blurry guy beside her is obviously me
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Look a little closer behind and to the right
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Now everybody knows that I was out with her that night
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and now my time has come
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I've got the world on the run
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my problems have come to an end
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I'm an unidentified friend
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unidentified friend
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Fame and fortune's bound to come how will I spend it all
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My fans will mob me when I go to the mall
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Dark glasses and a hat should be first things that I buy
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Or will my fans see through that - maybe I won't try
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I'll give you my unlisted number pager number too
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But when I'm on a movie set my agent will take care of you
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I'll be on all the talk shows, and game shows galore
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I'll even go to parties with Charro and Zsa Zsa Gabor
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I just can't understand it not a single call
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I've waited by the phone for days and it hasn't rung at all
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Except for my landlord who says I'm overdue
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The bills keep stacking up what am I gonna do?
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Could it be they didn't see my picture after all?
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would they run it again I'll give them a call
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And while I'm at it I'll call my famous friend
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Maybe she'd hang out with me then the wait would end
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Unidentified Friend
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The Town Pants |