May I have your attention please?
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May I have your attention please?
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Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
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I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
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We're gonna have a problem here
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Y'all act like ya never seen a white person before
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Jaws all on the floor like Pam, like Tommy just burst in the door
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And started whooping her ass worse than before
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They first were divorce, throwin' her over furniture (Ahh!)
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It's the return of the..."Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding,
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he just didn't say what I think he did, did he?"
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And Dr. Dre said...
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Nothing you idiots! Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement!(Ha-ha!)
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Feminist women love Eminem
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Slim Shady, I'm sick of him
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Look at him, walking around grabbing his you-know-what
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Flipping the you-know-who, yeah, but he's so cute though
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Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
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But no worse than what's going on in your parents' bedrooms
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Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can't
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But it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
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My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips
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And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
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And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
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And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is
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Of course they gonna know what intercourse is
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By the time they hit fourth grade
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They got the Discovery Channel don't they?
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We ain't nothing but mammals
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Well, some of us cannibals
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Who cut other people open like cantaloupes
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But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
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Then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
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But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
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Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes
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Chorus:
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I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
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All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
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So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up?
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Please stand up, please stand up
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Cuz I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
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All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
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So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up?
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Please stand up, please stand up
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Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell his records
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Well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too!
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You think I give a damn about a Grammy?
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Half of you critics can't even stomach me let alone stand me
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"But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
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Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here
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So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears
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Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
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So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
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And hear them argue over who she gave head to first
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You little bitch, put me on Blast on MTV
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"Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee-hee"
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I should download her audio on MP3
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And show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD
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I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups
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All you do is annoy me so I have been sent here to destroy you
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And there's a million of us just like me
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Who cuss like me; who just don't give a fuck like me
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Who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me
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And just might be the next best thing but not quite me!
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Chorus
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I'm like a head trip to listen to cuz I'm only giving you
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Things you joke about with your friends inside your living room
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The only difference is I got the balls to say it
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In front of y'all and I don't gotta be frost or sugar coated at all
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I just get on a mic and spit it and whether you like to admit it
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I just shitted better than 90 percent of you rappers out there
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Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like valiums
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It's funny cuz at the rate I'm going when I'm 30
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I'll be the only person in the nursing home flirting
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Pinching nurses asses when I'm jacking off with Jergens
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And I'm jerkin' but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working
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And every single person is a Slim Shady lurking
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He could be working at Burger King spitting on your onion rings
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Or in the parking lot, circling, screaming I don't give a fuck!
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With his windows down and his system up
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So, will the real Shady please stand up?
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And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
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| And be proud to be outta ya mind and outta contro |
