Once upon a time
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It was in Albuquerque, New Mexico
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There were these girls that worked at the college
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They were really cool...
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(They thought so anyway)
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They would be delighted to tell you
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how suave they were At the drop of a hat
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There was three of 'em:
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One of them thought she was a
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Beauty Queen...
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The other one was a Walking Blow-Job
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And then there was this skinny girl...
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Oh well...
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Some of the guys in the band got together
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With the girls from the college
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They were having a good time...
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(We were in Albuquerque for a couple of days)
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But these girls thought they were Hot Shit
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'N wouldn't pooch the guys in the band
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On the first day, so...
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A couple of the guys in the band
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Who were desperate for THAT KIND OF ACTION
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Kept workin' on 'em for two days
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(Which is a waste of fuckin' time anyway...)
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So, anyway...
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But if that's your idea of a good time, what the hey?
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Send those pants up here!
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Here's some more!
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Okay, good-good!
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Traditional cotton... oh, how sweet!
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Umf... huh-huh-huh-huhhh...
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HERE! Work these!
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Anyway...
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We're in Albuquerque, New Mexico...
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A couple of the guys in the band, who shall go nameless
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Because their girlfriends might find out
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Decided they were gonna work the wall on these girls
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From the college
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So, one night... it was the first night
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When they were still trying to 'get it in there'
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(Ya know what I mean? Huh-huh-huh...)
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The skinny girl, she says to one of the guys in the band
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She says, well, to several of the guys in the band
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And one of the T-shirt guys too...
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"HEY! LET'S GO SKINNY-DIPPING!"
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At two o'clock in the morning at the pool at the hotel
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That's right, you heard right,
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Two o'clock in the morning, pool at the hotel...
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It was so fun...
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But the water was very, very cold!
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So they go out there and the girl who was really skinny
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'N' probably totally insensitive to climatic changes
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Took all of her garments off and she jumped in the pool
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And she says, "HEY GUYS! COME ON IN!"
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Well, one of them did...
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The other one was too smart for that shit
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So him and the T-shirt guy sat by the edge of the pool
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And when the girl who was really skinny
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(And insensitive to climatic changes)
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Took off her clothes and jumped in the pool
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She threw her pants over there by the little table
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Well, one of the guys from the band picked up her panties
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(He told me later the stuff in the bottom
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Was like punching an eclair...)
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Anyhow... there was nothing else to do...
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It was Albuquerque, New Mexico
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It's two o'clock in the morning...
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They're not going to get any nooky anyway...
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So this one guy and the T-shirt guy
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Started sniffing the girl's panties...
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They were sniffing the fudge and sniffing the glue...
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Sniffing every 'thing' that adhered to these
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Delightful little morsels
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(Some of you might think this is weird...
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No wonder.
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It's not exactly normal, but
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What the fuck?)
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So, they're snorting it...
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(Hey! It's the twentieth century...
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Whatever you can do to have a good time, let's get on with it,
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So long as it doesn't cause a murder...)
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So they're snorting the pants
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'N' then they put them on their heads...
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They were having a good time...
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The girl was in the water... she didn't even see
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What was going on with her underpants...
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They were wearing the pants
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It looked just like a tiny little party hat...
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Their ears were sticking out the side...
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it was so fun
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Later on they discovered,
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This would make a great way of life for them...
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They would go from town to town looking for panties
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They would take the panties after they were hung up
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On the clothes line
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Later on they would take 'em back in the dressing room
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They would play with them...
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They would fetish the underpants...
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They would snort every little morsel attached
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To The underpants... and then... they would feel that
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They were FULFILLED
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And so you can see
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That what we're doing here on stage
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Is part of a Great American Tradition
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The tradition of the
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JAZZ DISCHARGE PARTY HATS
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-----------------
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The Jazz Discharge Party Hats
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| Frank Zappa |
