[ VERSE 1 ]
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The President woke and he called the Pope
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The Pope climbed to heaven on a golden rope
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P.S. the Lord raised Michaelangelo from the dead
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So he can make a fresh painting of my head
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Then I hung out with a king and a queen
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And the queen put me down with her polo team
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The way I scored points all around the clock
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I had her daughter, the princess ridin my jock
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I knocked the freak off like a crazy retard
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Then I took a little trip into a deck of cards
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The diamond jack joker and the ace of spades
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Was amazed at greater Cut Creator on the fade
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Then I played cards with the queen of clubs
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The queen of hearts with me cold fell in love
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As for the queen of diamonds, she don't like men
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Because you know that a diamond is a girl's best friend
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The double-trouble spade was named the deuce
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And the joker acted stupid, so we gave him the news
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There was 52 cards, and I met everyone
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That story is over, but my rhyme ain't done
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[ VERSE 2 ]
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Then I took a trip to the center of the earth
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I was kinda scared, so E-Love went first
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I met these funny little people, they called em skeezers
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So I held on to my wallet like Ebeneezer
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Tight leather pants that'll make you grunt
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Two nice soft things right up front
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The center of the earth ain't got no crime
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Just people bodyrockin to the L.L. rhyme
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If you're kinda confused to what a skeezer is
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It's just a girl who's on my jock cause I'm in showbiz
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There was a whole lotta skeezers, I dogged everyone
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That story is over, but my rhyme ain't done
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[ VERSE 3 ]
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Woke up late one afternoon
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Realized I was in the world of cartoons
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He-Man told me he'd beat me up
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Because he thought that I looked like Donald Duck
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Then I hung out with Spiderman
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He told me he was gonna start a comic strip band
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The Incredible Hulk was gonna play the drums
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Charlie Brown grabbed the guitar and started to strum
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Snoopy tried to rock on the microphone
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But Tom & Jerry both said he should leave it alone
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Then I hung out with Mickey Mouse
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He had two freaks, so we went to his house
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Mickey's freak was ugly, but mine was def
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So I knocked it off until there wasn't none left
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They were cartoon characters, I met everyone
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That story is over, but my rhyme ain't done
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[ VERSE 4 ]
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Since I'm a good friend of father time
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I'm not gettin older as I say this rhyme
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I was warmin the stove at the Alamo
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Before Booth shot Lincoln I stole the show
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I was down with George at the Delaware
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But I wore a Kangol, not the fake white hair
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Me and E-Love met Sitting Bull
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We made a peace pipe, then we took a pull
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Then he brought more leaves from a golden chest
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You thought it was tabacco - the shit was cess
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There was a lotta great men, and I met everyone
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That story is over, but my rhyme ain't done
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[ VERSE 5 ]
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11:33, I swear it's no sooner
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I went inside my TV, I met _The Honeymooners_
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Ralph wanted me to bust a couple of rhymes
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But I had my eyes on Alice's behind
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Norton came down right about that time
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Lookin in the frigde, so he could swine and dine
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Then I said to myself, I should give em a taste
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So I pulled the microphone out my black briefcase
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Said, it ain't Bob Hope or Barry Manilow
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Then I borrowed Norton's hat, cause I forgot my Kangol
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Ralph said, "I got a scheme, let me get to it"
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"Norton, my pal," I said, "Yo, don't even do it"
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They were all Honeymooners, and I met everyone
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That story is over, but my rhyme ain't done
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[ VERSE 6 ]
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Cause my tongue cuts sharp, I hit a note like a harp
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Or a harmonica, Veronica, I do my part
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In a bedroom with leg room I'm strong like a monsoon
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Chilled in Maui-Waui and I carry a harpoon
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Stopped at the isle that's Mali, cause we got ill
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Wrote my name on a rock at the top of the hill
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I searched for other ways, made love in caves
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And I kicked the ill beats that make the natives raise
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Now I'm gonna tell you what all this means
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From Farmers Boulevard in St. Albans, Queens
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There's a lyrical technician who came to play
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Number one b-boy L.L. COOL J
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All of this is just a story that I made up
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Def lines I say on time with Cut Creator's cuts
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Some of it's fiction,
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My Rhyme Ain't Done
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| L.L. Cool J |
