[Verse:]
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I was born on a thousand acres of Oklahoma land
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Nothing grew on the thousand acres for it was gravel and sand
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One day father started digging in a field
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Hoping to find some soil
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He dug and he dug and what do you think?
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Oil, oil, oil
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The money rolled in and I rolled out with a fortune piled so high
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Washington was my destination
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And now who am I?
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[1st refrain:]
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I'm the chosen party giver
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For the White House clientele
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And they know that I deliver
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What it takes to make 'em jell
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And in Washington I'm known by one and all
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As the hostess with the mostes' on the ball
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They could go to Elsa Maxwell
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When they had an axe to grind
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They could always grind their axe well
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At the parties she designed
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Now the hatchet grinders all prefer to call
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On the hostess with the mostes' on the ball
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I've a great big bar and good caviar
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Yes, the best that can be found
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And a large amount in my bank account
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When election time comes 'round
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If you're feeling presidential
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You can make it, yes, indeed
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There are just three things essential
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Let me tell you all you need
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Is an ounce of wisdom and a pound of gall
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And the hostess with the mostes' on the ball
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[2nd refrain:]
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Entertaining vodka drinkers
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Is a job they give to me
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Making nice guys out of stinkers
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Seems to be my cup of tea
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What they really need behind the iron wall
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Is the hostess with the mostes' on the ball
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There's a book of regulations
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As to who sits next to who
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But there might be complications
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When the blue blood's not so blue
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So the priestess with the leastes' protocol
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Is the hostess with the mostes' on the ball
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An Ambassador has just reached the shore
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He's a man of many loves
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An important gent from the Orient
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To be handled with kid gloves
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He can come and let his hair down
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Have the best time of his life
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Even bring his new affair down
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Introduce her as his wife
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But she mustn't leave her panties in the hall
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For the hostess who's the hostess with the mostes' on the ball
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[Encore:]
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I've been highly complimented
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And I thank you what is more
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You'll be damned well represented
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By your new ambassador
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For my one ambition is to make them fall
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For the hostess with the mostes' on the ball
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In the handbag that I'll carry
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There's a precious little note
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To their highnesses from Harry
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Introducing me he wrote:
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"I'll appreciate a favor large or small
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For the hostess with the mostes' on the ball"
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There'll be no mistakes, I've got what it takes
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To make friends across the sea
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I'll make being smart an important part
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Of my foreign policy
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I'll cement our good relations
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When I give my first affair
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There'll be special invitations
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To the Duke and Duchess there
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Who's already written asking them to call
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Not the priestess with the leastes'
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But the hostess who's the hostess with the mostes' on the ball
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The Hostess With The Mostes' On The Ball
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| Irving Berlin |