Greetings:This is the Secretary of War at the State Department
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of the United States
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We have a problem.
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The companies want something done about this sluggish
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world economic situation
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Profits have been running a little thin lately
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and we need to stimulate some growth
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Now we know
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there's an alarmingly high number of young people roaming
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around in your country with nothing to do but stir up trouble
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for the police and damage private property.
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It doesn't look like they'll ever get a job
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It's about time we did something constructive with these people
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We've got thousands of 'em here too. They're crawling all over
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The companies think it's time we all sit down, have a serious get-together-
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And start another war
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The President?
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He loves the idea! All those missiles streaming overhead to and fro
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Napalm
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People running down the road, skin on fire
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The Soviets seem up for it:
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The Kremlin's been itching for the real thing for years.
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Hell, Afghanistan's no fun
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So whadya say?
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We don't even have to win this war.
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We just want to cut down on some of this excess population
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Now look. Just start up a draft; draft as many of those people as you can.
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We'll call up every last youngster we can get our hands on,
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hand 'em some speed, give 'em an hour or two to learn how to use
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an automatic rifle and send 'em on their way
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Libya? El Salvador? How 'bout Northern Ireland?
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Or a "moderately repressive regime" in South America?
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We'll just cook up a good Soviet threat story
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in the Middle East-we need that oil
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We had Libya all ready to go and Colonel Khadafy's hit squad
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didn't even show up. I tell ya
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That man is unreliable.
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The Kremlin had their fingers on the button just like we did for that one
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Now just think for a minute-We can make this war so big-so BIG
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The more people we kill in this war, the more the economy will prosper
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We can get rid of practically everybody on your dole queue if we plan this right.
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Take every loafer on welfare right off our computer rolls
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Now don't worry about demonstrations-just pump up your drug supply.
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So many people have hooked themselves on heroin
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and amphetamines since we took over, it's just like Vietnam.
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We had everybody so busy with LSD they never got too strong.
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Kept the war functioning just fine
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It's easy.
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We've got our college kids so interested in beer
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they don't even care if we start manufacturing germ bombs again.
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Put a nuclear stockpile in their back yard,
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they wouldn't even know what it looked like
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So how 'bout it? Look-War is money.
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The arms manufacturers tell me unless
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we get our bomb factories up to full production
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the whole economy is going to collapse
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The Soviets are in the same boat.
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We all agree the time has come for the big one, so whadya say?!?
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That's excellent. We knew you'd agree
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The companies will be very pleased.
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-----------------
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Kinky Sex Makes The World Go 'Round
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The Dead Kennedys |