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Tubby Barlow
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Posed like swallows before a dive
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Five lanes, and on the left hand side
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Stands Tubby Barlow wet with fear
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Not quite sure what he's doing there
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On your marks, get set, and they're in
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Tubby's consumed by the urge to win
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Four are greased lightning, one is lard
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But Tubby's determined not to be left behind
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Ten years of being pushed around flash before his eyes
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Alone in the schoolyard eating his pride
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In third place as they reach the turn
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His arms ache and his chest burns
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Kids are cheering from the balcony
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Tubby's oblivious, all he can see
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Is that this is the moment to change his life
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By collecting a trophy on the other side
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Past Steven Clough and Kenny Grey
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"Mum, mum, I'm winning the race!"
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He opens his mouth and water floods in
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He's coughing, choking, panicking
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Down once, down twice, 'till someone screams
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"Sir, Tubby Barlow's drowning!"
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But Baz Wilson's already in
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Got his intermediate in life saving
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The captain of the football team
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Idol of every young girl's dream
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Drags Tubby towards the rope
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But Tubby's confused and grips his throat
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As both boys begin to skin
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"Sir, Baz Wilson's drowning!"
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Tubby opens his eyes for one last time
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Sees Baz flailing at his side
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Like Jesus after the resurrection
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Sees himself as Baz's salvation
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Grabs Baz, heads for the side
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"Chariots of Fire" playing in his mind
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Meanwhile Steven Clough gets first position
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But they're all watching Tubby save Baz Wilson
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Now Tubby lays like a whale on the shore
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Gasping and spewing like a real hero
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Like a real hero!
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Tubby Barlow
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Chumbawamba |