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I Eat With Gusto, Damn! You Bet
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Hello Everyone, it's time for poetry
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I submit to you the following it's entitled:
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"I Eat with Gusto, Damn! You Bet"
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By one Jonathan Richman.
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When I eat like I do it,
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I use not fork nor spoon
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No grace or culture to it
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When I call my own tune.
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For I eat with gusto, damn you bet
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A regular K-9 cruncher
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Except truth be told I'm sloppier yet
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Than many a dog food muncher
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I eat a pound I eat a ton
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And no there ain't much I cuts up
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And while I'm having merry fun
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Bystanders puke their guts up.
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The FBI sent someone by
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Who handles health affairs
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I had not finished my cream pie
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When he chanced up the stairs
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Why did he turn the other way?
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Why did he leave so quick?
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Will he come back another day?
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Did something make him sick?
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I eat with gusto damn you bet
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A regular doggie diner
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"No don't bring me napkins waiter sir,
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Just bring some trash can liner."
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Whilst wandering by a juice bar
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I spyed a tempting beverage
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Since I would have been last in line
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I used my fearsome leverage
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For in my pocket was some food
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Which I took from the wrapper
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The patrons wathced it being chewed
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And of course headed for the crapper.
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For I eat with gusto damn you bet
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For gusto I'm the boss
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For yay my nose it is in the salad
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And lo my chin it is in the sauce
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I eat with gusto damn you bet
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We're sailing around the cape
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"Keel-haul him," said the Bosun
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"There must be no escape."
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One sunny day in Paris an elegant cafe
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A phone call there a phone call here
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And the gendarmes took me away
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I said "qu'est-ce qui se passe ici"
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I said " mais qu'est-ce que c'est"
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They said "Such eating it is criminal
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And crime it does not pay."
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For I eat with gusto damn you bet.
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My banner yay unfurled
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My shirt is covered with mustard
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And my hair with ketchup curled
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Goodby to Egypt, Greece and Rome
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The ancient world goodbye.
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May squalor be my summer home
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And filth be my neck tie.
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For I eat with gusto damn you bet.
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Uh, And Uh, I eat with gusto damn you bet
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My country tis of thee
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I eat for social progress
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I eat for victory
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Somebody died who watched me eat
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In a restaurant one spell
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He woke up and saw me eating beans
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And knew that he'd gone to hell
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For Uh, "He eats with gusto damn we bet."
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They're calling from the south
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They want to stop my gusto
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They want to close my mouth
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"You eat with gusto, yeah that's great
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Now let us off this bus."
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Wait a minute I haven't finished eating up stuff yet.
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"We'll call you, don't call us."
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I Eat With Gusto, Damn! You Bet
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Jonathan Richman |