[Eminem]
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A lot of people ask me.. stupid fuckin questions
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A lot of people think that.. what I say on records
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or what I talk about on a record, that I actually do in real life
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or that I believe in it
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Or if I say that, I wanna kill somebody, that..
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I'm actually gonna do it
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or that I believe in it
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Well, shit.. if you believe that
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then I'll kill you
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You know why?
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Cuz I'm a
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CRIMINAL
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CRIMINAL
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You god damn right
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I'm a CRIMINAL
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Yeah, I'm a CRIMINAL
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[Eminem]
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My words are like a dagger with a jagged edge
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That'll stab you in the head
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whether you're a fag or lez
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Or the homosex, hermaph or a trans-a-vest
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Pants or dress - hate fags? The answer's "yes"
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Homophobic? Nah, you're just heterophobic
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Starin at my jeans, watchin my genitals bulgin (Ooh!)
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That's my motherfuckin balls, you'd better let go of em
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They belong in my scrotum, you'll never get hold of em
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Hey, it's me, Versace
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Whoops, somebody shot me!
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And I was just checkin the mail
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Get it? Checkin the 'male'?
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How many records you expectin to sell
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after your second LP sends you directly to jail?
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C'mon!-- Relax guy, I like gay men
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Right, Ken? Give me an amen (AAA-men!)
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Please Lord, this boy needs Jesus
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Heal this child, help us destroy these demons
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Oh, and please send me a brand new car
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And a prostitute while my wife's sick in the hospital
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Preacher preacher, fifth grade teacher
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You can't reach me, my mom can't neither
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You can't teach me a goddamn thing cause
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I watch TV, and Comcast cable
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and you ain't able to stop these thoughts
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You can't stop me from toppin these charts
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And you can't stop me from droppin each March
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with a brand new cd for these fuckin retards
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Duhhh, and to think, it's just little ol' me
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Mr. "Don't Give A Fuck," still won't leave
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Chorus: Eminem (repeat 2X)
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I'm a CRIMINAL
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Cuz every time I write a rhyme, these people think it's a crime
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to tell em what's on my mind - I guess I'm a CRIMINAL
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but I don't gotta say a word, I just flip em the bird
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and keep goin, I don't take shit from no one
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[Eminem]
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My mother did drugs - tar, liquor, cigarettes, and speed
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The baby came out - disfigured, ligaments indeed
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It was a seed who would grow up just as crazy as she
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Don't dare make fun of that baby cause that baby was me
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I'm a CRIMINAL - an animal caged who turned crazed
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But how the fuck you sposed to grow up when you weren't raised?
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So as I got older and I got a lot taller
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My dick shrunk smaller, but my balls got larger
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I drink malt liquor to fuck you up quicker
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than you'd wanna fuck me up for sayin the word ...
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My morals went thhbbpp when the president got oral
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Sex in his Oval Office on top of his desk
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Off of his own employee
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Now don't ignore me, you won't avoid me
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You can't miss me, I'm white, blonde-haired
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and my nose is pointy
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I'm the bad guy who makes fun of people that die
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in plane crashes and laughs
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As long as it ain't happened to him
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Slim Shady, I'm as crazy as Em
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-inem and Kim combined - *kch* the maniac's in
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Replacin the doctor cause Dre couldn't make it today
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He's a little under the weather, so I'm takin his place
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(Mm-mm-mmm!) Oh, that's Dre with an AK to his face
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Don't make me kill him too and spray his brains all over the place
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I told you Dre, you should've kept that thang put away
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I guess that'll teach you not to let me play with it, eh?
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I'm a CRIMINAL
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[Interlude Skit]
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Aight look (uh huh) just go up in that motherfucker
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get the motherfuckin money and get the fuck up outta there
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[Em] Aight
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I'll be right here waitin on you
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[Em] Aight
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Yo Em
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[Em] What?!
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Don't kill nobody this time
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[Em] Awwright... god damn, fuck...
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(whistling) how you doin'?
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[Teller] HI, how can I help you?
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[Eminem] Yeah I need to make a withdrawl
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[Teller] Okay
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[Eminem] Put the fuckin money in the bag bitch
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and I won't kill you!
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[Teller] What? Oh my god, don't kill me
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[Eminem] I'm not gonna kill you bitch, quit lookin around...
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[Teller] Don't kill me, please don't k ill me...
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[Eminem] I said I'm not gonna fuckin kill you
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Hurry the fuck up! {*BOOM*} Than |