The One Where Joey Dates Rachel
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Written by: Sherry Bilsing-Graham & Ellen Plummer
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Directed by: David Schwimmer
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Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
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[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are entering carrying groceries and find Phoebe already there standing in front of a huge object that has been gift wrapped.]
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Phoebe: Hey! I got you a present!!
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Chandler: Oh my goodness! Where did you hide it?
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Phoebe: I got it for your wedding and I ordered it weeks ago, and it finally got here!
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Chandler: Pheebs you didn¡¯t have to get us anything for our wedding you already sang¡¦
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Monica: (interrupting) I love it! It¡¯s huge!! Let¡¯s open it! Open it!! (Monica rips open the paper.)
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Phoebe: It¡¯s a Ms. Pac-Man machine!!
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Monica: Oh my God!
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Phoebe: I didn¡¯t know where to put it so I just left it here for now.
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Monica: Oh well, maybe we can put it in the guest bedroom.
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Chandler: Oh, okay.
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Monica: All right. (He goes to push it and it doesn¡¯t move.)
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Chandler: I kinda like it here.
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Phoebe: Do you really like it?
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Monica: Are you kidding?! I practically spent my entire childhood at the arcade! This is like—Oh my, this is like my second favorite game!
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Phoebe: Oh really? What was your first?
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Monica: Well I-I really don¡¯t remember the name of it.
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Chandler: Well what did it do?
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Monica: Well, you just—you put a quarter in and y¡¯know pull-pull some handles and win like a candy bar or something.
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Chandler: A vending machine?
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Monica: Don¡¯t feel bad for me! I won like every time!
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Opening Credits
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[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Rachel are there as Ross enters.]
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Ross: Hey! Oh, I¡¯m so glad you guys are here. I¡¯ve been dying to tell someone what happened in the Paleontology department today.
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Joey: (To Rachel) Do you think he saw us or can we still sneak out?
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Ross: Professor Neuman, the head of the department, so¡¦.
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Rachel: They made you head of the department!
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Ross: No, I get to teach one of his advanced classes! (Pause) Why didn¡¯t I get head of the department? (Goes and gets some coffee.)
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Joey: Oh! Hey Rach, listen umm¡¦
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Rachel: Yeah.
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Joey: I got a big date coming up, do you know a good restaurant?
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Rachel: Uh, Paul¡¯s Café. They got great food and it¡¯s really romantic.
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Joey: Ooh, great! Thanks!
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Rachel: Yeah! Oh, and then afterwards you can take her to the Four Seasons for drinks. Or you go downtown and listen to some jazz. Or dancing—Oh! Take her dancing!
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Joey: You sure are naming a lot of ways to postpone sex, I¡¯ll tell ya¡¦
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Rachel: Ooh, I miss dating. Gettin¡¯ all dressed up and going to a fancy restaurant. I¡¯m not gonna be able to do that for so long, and it¡¯s so much fun! I mean not that sitting at home worrying about giving birth to a sixteen pound baby is not fun.
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Joey: Hey, y¡¯know what?
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Rachel: Huh?
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Joey: Why don¡¯t I take you out?
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Rachel: What?! Joey, you don¡¯t want to go on a date with a pregnant lady.
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Joey: Yes I do! And we¡¯re gonna go out, we¡¯re gonna have a good time, and take your mind off of childbirth and c-sections and-and giant baby heads stretching out¡¦
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Rachel: (interrupting) Okay! I¡¯ll go with ya! I¡¯ll go! I¡¯ll go with ya.
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Joey: I¡¯ll be fun.
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Rachel: All right?
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[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is watching Phoebe play Ms. Pac-Man.]
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Phoebe: No. No! Yes! Ahh. Oh, would you look at that Monica? I just knocked off all of your top scores, how sad.
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Monica: Okay, I¡¯m next. (Phoebe starts another game.) Don¡¯t! Don¡¯t start another game! I said I¡¯m next! Phoebe!
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Phoebe: Oh, I¡¯m sorry. I didn¡¯t hear you over all the winning.
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Monica: Chandler! Phoebe¡¯s hogging the game!
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Chandler: Who cares? It¡¯s a stupid game.
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Monica: You only think it¡¯s stupid because you suck at it.
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Chandler: I don¡¯t suck. It¡¯s sucks. You suck.
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Phoebe: Wait okay, if this game is gonna cause prob |