Open my eyes, what a beautiful day
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Just the type that makes me want to say hooray
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I'm still a little fuzzy-headed from my sleep
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Into my brain reality seeps
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Look all around me, can't believe what I see
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These little short people are surrounding me
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I've got a white beard, a suit made of red
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My soul becomes filled with a keen sense of dread
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Oh God, I'm Santa Claus
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Oh God, I'm Santa Claus
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Oh God, I'm Santa Claus
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Oh God, I'm Santa Claus
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Hop out of bed, kick an elf in the chest
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What an awful way to awake from a rest
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"Santa, oh, Santa," the little gnomes cheer
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"You shouldn't be nasty at this time of year!"
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"What do you mean?" I say in a rage
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"And what are you doing with those big burlap bags?"
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The elves they do roar, "Why their full of toys
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For you to deliver to the good girls and boys."
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Oh God, I'm Santa Claus
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Oh God, I'm Santa Claus
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Oh God, I'm Santa Claus
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Oh God, I'm Santa Claus
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Resigned to my fate, I load up the sleigh
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Harness the reindeer and get under way
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It's nippy up here in the cool arctic sky
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Good thing I remembered that bottle of rye
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Flying over rooftops, throwing out toys
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Hopefully crushing those good girls and boys
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Like a bad dream, I pray for release
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Please let this hellish existence be ceased!
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Oh God, I'm Santa Claus
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Oh God, I'm Santa Claus
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Oh God, I'm Santa Claus
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Oh God, I'm Santa Claus
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From this nightmare I finally awake
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My brain is on fire, my hands they do shake
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But wait, they're not hands, they're cute little paws
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I'm the Easter Bunny, I'm not Santa Claus!
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Oh God, I'm the Easter Bunny
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Oh God, I 'm Easter Bunny
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Oh God, I'm Easter Bunny
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Oh God, I'm Easter Bunny
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-----------------
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Oh God, I'm Santa Claus
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The Arrogant Worms |