I hate the Skydome and the CN Tower too
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I hate Nathan Phillips Square and the Ontario Zoo
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The rents too high, the air's unclean
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The beaches are dirty and the people are mean
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And the women are big and the men are dumb
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And the children are loopy 'cause they live in a slum
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The water is polluted and the mayor's a dork
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They dress real bad and they think they're New York
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In Toronto, Ontario
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"You know, actually I think I hate all of Ontario"
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I hate Thunder Bay and Ottawa
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Kitchener, Windsor, and Oshawa
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London sucks and the Great Lakes suck
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And Sarnia sucks and Turkey Point Sucks
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I took a trip to Ontario to visit Brian Mulrooney
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He beat me up and he stole my pants and he put me in a tree
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I went to see the Maple Leafs and got hit in the head with a puck
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"I don't even know how they did it, I was playing the organ at the time!"
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Ontario Sucks
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"Yup, actually, now that I really think about it, I think I pretty much hate every gosh darn province and territory in our country! Except Alberta. Oh yeah I love Alberta, yeah it's really nice, lots of cows, trees, rocks, dirt. Moo moo moo"
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But,
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I hate Newfoundland 'cause they talk so weird
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And Prince Edward Island is too small
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Nova Scotia's dumb 'cause its the name of a bank
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New Brunswick doesn't have a good mall
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Quebec is revolting and it makes me mad
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Ontario sucks, Ontario sucks
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"Manitoba's population density is 1.9 people per square kilometer. Isn't that stupid!?"
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Saskatchewan is boring and the people are old
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And as for the territories, they're too cold!
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"And the only really good thing about the province of British Columbia is that it's right next to us!"
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'Cause Alberta doesn't suck
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But Calgary does
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Toronto Sucks
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The Arrogant Worms |