There is a bowl cut template mapped with a billy can, mega mom scissoring a topiary lego man, mini-ramp cowlick, good ship snot nose, lap rain water out of pigeon hill potholes, rat brain, shovel green peas off a butterknife, raccoon hat, moon boots all summer-type, felt pressure at the center of the dog show, better off blending, sweater-off Waldo you, wanna see a genome mutate? Cut a page boy ‘til it bring home a Cube tape, poof, screw-face wriggle out a chop shop, home-brewed Kool-aid, disavowing Osh Kosh, simulating television, little rowdy rock snob, bobble headed shredder playing top-heavy hop scotch, you realize you only got a week, ‘til you catch him with a pair of shitty clippers in the sink, like bzzzzt, motherfucking bzzzzt, bzzzzt, that’s a quiet kid, bussing asymmetric rebel lines in, crudely, some say to praise the lord, i say you wanna feel saved baby, shape the orb, and i will see you all in Helven, read he fled a panic room pissed, and been searching for animal chin since, bumpin’ Jonny Rad, eye on the sauce pan, current mop: 4 months shy on the off-chance
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| I knew this Kid Camu, who in the lion’s mouth, made a up a fail safe way to get his life corralled, let’s say he short on the rent, his land lord is upset, he disappears with sheers yelling “I’m going George Jeff”, bathroom door sound like a part-mech barbershop quartet, forced into war with itself, what emerge next in a shaft of light is bald up top, long on the back and sides, maybe the blade oil came with a ax to grind, but granddaddy half-smile, all mastermind, he ask “how do I look?”, I said “you look insane”, he said the haircut come with a theory i’ll explain, please do, first: no hats allowed, faux nat’ male pattern when he out the house, and wouldn’t crop it up until his monopoly prop pass go, ‘til then walk this town like an asshole, bzzzt! motherfucking bzzzt! Bzzzt! Last week we were stoney, this week he program beats all monday, sold 2 wednesday, pay rent, fabricate a wole new hedge maze, back on his smooth shit friday at noon bitch, wow, just like that, a method i encourage you to share and apply and adapt as one day his didn’t grow back
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| Start with a textbook bowl cut (bowl cut!)
| one you can mow down slow as you grow up
| learn a couple great new curse words (pussy!)
| buzz a cool rat tail, take 2, your turn
| learn a couple great new curse words (fuckface!)
| maybe try a ponyhawk, take 2, your turn
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| Racing Stripes
| | Aesop Rock |
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