She¡¯s a domestic violence survivor a regular hospital patient
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He swears that it was an accident, she claims it was blatant
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Those who think that they know him will of course have their doubts
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And the ones who believe her will quickly point out
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That it¡¯s happened so many times and he hasn¡¯t changed yet
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If she doesn¡¯t just leave him she deserves what she gets
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She¡¯ll get no support from those who don¡¯t understand
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Why she would stay with such an abusive man
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Why doesn¡¯t she leave?
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Why does she stay in an abusive situation, where he¡¯s made her his prisoner
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And the acts of violence get worse every day?
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Many women lose their support systems
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Once the batterer has isolated her and no one will listen
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To her plea for help, her cries of despair
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And when the incident is over he always swears
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That he knows there¡¯s a problem and he¡¯s going to get help
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Not for her but for himself
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Shifting the focus to his pain and away from hers
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Convincing her that it¡¯s not just his problem but both of theirs
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So he needs her support and for her to remain
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Because he really is trying and he¡¯s going to change
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So she remains in an abusive situation
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And lives with fear and intimidation
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And the familiar words of regret and repeated apologies
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The psychological battering and sexual abuse
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And the promise of reprisal if she ever leaves
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Each day there¡¯s a new bruise that she manages to hide
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Sometimes it¡¯s denial and sometimes it¡¯s pride
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She really doesn¡¯t want to live life this way
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But there are countless reasons why she might stay
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Maybe it¡¯s low self-esteem
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No self-respect
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Maybe it¡¯s her children that she¡¯s trying to protect
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Maybe it¡¯s financial security, having a home
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Having to make it out on her own
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Maybe she sees it as normal from her childhood abuse
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Maybe she¡¯s tired of fighting so what¡¯s the use
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Maybe the police who were called doubted her statement
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Or maybe she loves him and is trying to be patient
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He¡¯ll never run out of excuses for his continued assault
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He¡¯ll rationalize his abuse and how it¡¯s really her fault
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If she¡¯d only obey him and be a better wife
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If he didn¡¯t have all of these pressures in his job or his life
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It¡¯s not because stress has taken its toll
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But because he¡¯s seeking obedience, dominance and power
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And he knows that his abuse gets him control
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And if it gets him what he wants then he¡¯ll do it again
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The single greatest cause of injury to women is by abusive men
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Thousands of women are murdered by their partners every year
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Is it so hard to understand why she stays and lives in fear?
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Why Does She Stay?
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Behind Enemy Lines |