When I was young, I studied hard, and thirsted after knowledge.
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And often burned the midnight oil, so I could get to college.
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They told me my fine education
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Would help improve my situation.
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So then I crammed and crammed til I was almost in a coma.
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And CC's and exams til I got me a diploma.
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Aha, they said, now comes admission
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Into a very high position.
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So out I went and looked around.
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And Macy's was the place I found.
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I filled my blanks and application
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And went for my examination.
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They took my weight and took my height,
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And tapped my chest and tested my sight.
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Examined my head, took prints of my toes,
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Looked at my teeth and up my nose.
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Examined my throat and measured my hips,
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And even took prints of my fingertips.
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Made me say "Ah" and told me to grunt,
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Examined my back, examined my front.
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Then they tested my IQ
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And asked what I'd like to do
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And when that exam was through,
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What there was to know, Macy's knew.
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So, I got the job.
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Life is a bitter cup of tea,
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Now I'm just Salesgirl #73.
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I used to be on the daisy chain,
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Now I'm a chain store daisy.
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Once I was given the honor seat.
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Now I stand up with pains in my feet.
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I used to be on the daisy chain,
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Now shoppers drive me crazy!
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I sell smart, but thrifty.
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Corsets at $3.50.
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Better grades, $4.69.
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I sell bras and gerters (garters)
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To mauds and murd'rers (murderers)
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To holding their plump behind this counter.
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Once I wrote poems, put people in tears.
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Now I write checks for Red Star brassieres.
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I used to be on the daisy chain,
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Now I'm a chain store daisy.
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Oh yes, madame.
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Oh no, madame.
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I guess, madame.
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It that so, madame?
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Oh, that one is $19.74.
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It ought to be expensive, it's the largest in the store!
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Once I had a yearning for all higher learning,
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And studied to make the grade.
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For subjects pedantic, I shunned the romantic,
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And look at the kind of grade I made.
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I'm selling things to fit the figger,
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Make the big things small and the small things bigger.
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I used to be on the daisy chain,
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Now I'm a chain store daisy.
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Chain Store Daisy
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Barbra Streisand |