Frank Zappa (lead guitar)
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Ike Willis (guitar, vocals)
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Ray White (guitar, lead vocals)
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Bobby Martin (keyboards, saxophone, vocals)
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Alan Zavod (keyboards)
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Scott Thunes (bass)
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Chad Wackerman (drums)
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Well well well, now, dis de nasty sucker dat be respondable fo de enwhiffment o de origumal potium. Now in his infinate respondable party personage as de Evil Prince and through de magik o stage-kraft of course, wes about to see what gwine on in his magikal conjurance up of his little cauldrom of doom! Now check it on out now
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Somewhere, over there, I can tell,
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I guess so
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Theres the voice of
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A potato-headed whatchamacallit
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Whoo, do tell!
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Who does not wish me well!
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His clothes are quite stupid,
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And also his shoes!
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Ain't no bussiness like show business
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He's got a big ol duck-mouth!
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Who knows how he chews!
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He thinks he knows something
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About THE GREAT PLAN!
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How ULTIMATE BLANDNESS
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Must RULE and COMMAND
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He knows not a drop,
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Not a crumb,
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Not a whit,
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Of the reason for doing
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This criminal shit
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And then, if he did,
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Would it matter a bit?
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Not at all!
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Because IT IS WRIT:
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Our BEIGE-BLANDISH GOD
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Tends to CERTIFY IT:
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Only the boring and bland shall survive!
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Only the lamest of lameness will thrive!
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Take it or leave it, you wont be alive,
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If you are overtly CREATIVE!
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Fairies and faggots and queers are
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CREATIVE
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All the best music on Broadway is
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NATIVE
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Who will step forward
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And end all this trouble?
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For beige-blandish citizens,
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Clutching the rubble
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Of vanishing dreams
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Of wimpish amusement,
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Replaced by a rash
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Of CREATIVE confusement!
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Soon, my brave Zombies,
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Youll make your return!
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Broadway will glow!
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Broadway will burn!
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(Along with the remnants of
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EVERYTHING NEW)
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My HOLY DISEASE will do
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Wonders for you!
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Those lovely producers
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Who paid for you then
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Will do it again, and again, and again!
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The spying potato
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The spying potato
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With horrible diction
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And terrible diction
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Will rot in the garbage
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I can smell it right now
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When this shows eviction
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Takes place shortly after
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My alternate skill
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Of THEATRICAL SABOTAGE
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Triumphs YOUR will!
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I've a special review
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Yes I know you really do!
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I've been saving for years
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Yes I know you really have
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For a show just like this,
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For a really stupid show
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With POTATOES and QUEERS
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I'll say its disgusting, atrocious, and dull
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I'll say it makes boils inside of your skull
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I'll say its the worst -of-the-worst of the year,
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No wind down the plain, and its hard on your ear
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I'll say its the work of an infantile mind
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I'll say that its tasteless, and that you will find
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A better excuse to spend money or time
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At a Tupper-Ware Party, wee-oo
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So, do be a smarty!
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Oo-oo-wee-oo
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Hold on to that dollar
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A little while longer
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For spending it here,
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Why, it couldnt be wronger!
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WHATS HAPPENED TO BROADWAY?
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WHERES IT GONE, ALL THE GLITTER?
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THE HEART AND SOUL
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THE PATTER?
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THE PITTER?
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And after this deadly review hits the paper,
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In will come ROPER, BENDER & RAPER,
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To legally execute all that remains
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Of this tragic amusement for drug-addled brains
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Drug-addled brains, drug addled brains
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(solo)
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Hold on to that g-string
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A little while longer
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For spending it here,
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Why, it couldnt be wronger!
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WHATS HAPPENED TO BROADWAY?
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WHERES IT GONE, ALL THE GLITTER?
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THE HEART AND SOUL
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THE PATTER?
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THE PITTER?
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And after this deadly review hits the paper,
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In will come ROPER, BENDER & RAPER,
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To legally execute all that remains
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Of this tragic amusement for drug-addled brains
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Hey hey, hey hey, hey hey, brai-hains . . .
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-----------------
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The Evil Prince
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Frank Zappa |