Eggsy
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I seen that film, American Pie
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Where a bloke fucked a fruit, so I gave it a try
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My technique was slightly off-key
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It involved tinned meat and a pop celebrity
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I wouldn't hurt her if I saw her on the street
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But I wanna make a statue just of Kelly for me
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You know, it all started way back when
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Using spam to cap Boys II Men
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I used bacon to make Rusty Lee
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Kelly Osbourne, you're my meat fantasy
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You're always there when I need to talk
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And I love the way your fingers and your toes are made (from pork)
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All
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I made a corned beef Kelly Osbourne,
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And I fucked it when I was watching porn
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I made a corned beef Kelly Osbourne,
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And I fucked it when I was watching porn
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Maggot
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Minimum content, 3% meat
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I trimmed the fat off, it looked really neat
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Made the torso and shaped the thighs
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But I'm stuck, I've got nothing for the eyes
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Billy
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Fluid dripping like a running tap
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When I warm my meat up and rub it on the lap
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Xain
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Making bacon with reformed ham
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People pay money for this in Amsterdam
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Mysty
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Meat fantasies often give me the horn,
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But nothing like a corned beef Kelly Osbourne
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You're divine, so sexy, so tasty
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Like meat in a pie when I penetrate the pastry
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Xain
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This girl I was with had a vag like corned beef
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It was all smashed up and I thought it had teeth
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I thought kebab was on the main course
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So I covered it in my own special garlic sauce
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All
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I made a corned beef Kelly Osbourne,
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And I fucked it when I was watching porn
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I made a corned beef Kelly Osbourne,
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And I fucked it when I was watching porn
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Xain
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I fucked a corned beef Kelly Osbourne
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I fucked a corned beef Kelly Osbourne
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Adam
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Sit back kid, take a book outta my leaf
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I love to fuck a pile of sweaty sticky beef
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Down Aldi's they're looking at me funny
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Twelve tins of corned beef now it's a cunny
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Ooh, I'm gonna fuck you, right here, right now
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Make a mess with my stiff, gonna show you how
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Stick it in, watch the foreskin
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Try to fuck the tin, rip my banjo string
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Cos you knows I wanna fuck that prime fillet cut
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With a bit of lippy dressed up like a slut
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Getting down on the floor for a bit of screwing
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'Til someone said "oi wanker, what you doing?"
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Threw me out, I raised an objection
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With corned beef still stuck to my erection
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So what, fuck 'em, I don't give a toss
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I'm going home with a Fray Bentos
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All
|
I made a corned beef Kelly Osbourne,
|
And I fucked it when I was watching porn
|
I made a corned beef Kelly Osbourne,
|
And I fucked it when I was watching porn
|
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Mysty/Xain
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Meat fantasies (meaty meaty meat)
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Meat fantasies (meaty meaty meat)
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Meat fantasies (meaty meaty meat)
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Meat fantasies
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Meat fantasies
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Xain
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That's right, back with the rhythm
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Like a Ginster's pasty covered in jism
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Maggot
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Meaty bitches out on a binge
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I'm going home with a corned beef minge
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Billy
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Shagging the meat, but I ain't mincing
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Hiding my eyes to stop me gagging and wincing
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At the smell of the rancid spammy clam
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As a steak tenderiser goes "bam bam bam!"
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Mike
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Madame Tussauds you got nothing on me
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I got my own meatworks laboratory
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All Saints and Spice Girls and miss Zeta-Jones
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All I want is the meat, don't care about the bones
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Eggsy
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I tried sex shops, I tried DVDs
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It don't mean shit compared to meats like these
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Aspic jelly, and a coating of lard
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These are the things that make my penis go hard
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All
|
I made a corned beef Kelly Osbourne,
|
And I fucked it when I was watching porn
|
I made a corned beef Kelly Osbourne,
|
And I fucked it when I was watching porn
|
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Xain
|
I fucked a corned beef Kelly Osbourne
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I fucked a corned beef Kelly Osbourne
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-----------------
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Song For Kelly
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Goldie Lookin' Chain |