I was up and out my mothers house at 17
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Been a grown ass married man ever since
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Family reunions, I'm talked about but never seen
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Cause I learned that some of them can be your nemesis
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Got a lot of scars on me, and I'll tell you the stories
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If, you promise not to take offense
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Homie, sit back then, Ant bring the beat in
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I'll try to find a place to start that makes sense now
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The first time I was pushed out blind
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Cold and naked, spanked on the ass to breathe
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An immigrant from heaven on earth with a WORK VISA
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I announce my self with gasping screams
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Before black and white supremacy, heisted my innocence
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I was living out life behind the picket fence
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Happy go lucky scared of no one
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With only the exception, I'm allergic to the sun
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Didn't know I had a image that a camera couldn't capture
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100% Allah's manufacture
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But then came the laughter, and outside I'm battered
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Picket fence shattered
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I saw my self as bastard tagalong, harassed and spat upon
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By the children of slave masters who passed it on
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The saddest songs have been sung at the hands of who I call the race from hell
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Its a disgrace from hell
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Fell face first in the self hate
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Burst into tears when I hear my own hellish name cursed
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If I seem timid, its only because every mirror that I saw back then had the
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earths ugliest human being in it
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And with that said, they would kick me till they got tired or I act dead
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And I, have to tell ya'll that the obvious part
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is I always feel free when I'm talking to god
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Alone on the playground, Friday afternoon
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And the, old sister who hums gospel tunes
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I saw her, noticed her getting closer
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She approached me and put a knowing hand on my shoulder
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And hooked my feelings
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Cause she looked at me in a way that adults very seldom look at children
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And with the wisdom only earned by years
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She read my thoughts and she welled up with tears and said
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"You look the way you do because you're special
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Not the short bus way, I mean that God's gonna test you
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And all of this pain is training for the day when you
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will have to lead with the gift God gave to you
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Grown folks don't see it but the babies do
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And there's a chance that you can save a few"
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And time would prove that, she started my movement
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She didn't tell me to take it - she told me to use it
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The second time poppa ripped the womb open early
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And exposed me to the coldness of life prematurely
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Where mom's love used to live, now housed denial
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And when that decayed, it made her bitter and spiteful
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But me and my runaway, we share something special
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Rode into the sunset, can barely can tough the pedals
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No strings attached, screaming, "fuck Geppetto"
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We may live in the gutter, but we cling to each other
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A week before my son came, I caught a bad bounce
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And had to step to mom with my hands out
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And momma proved the two of us could not live in that house
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She lied to the police so they would throw us in the streets
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And separating from you, is something I feel I must do
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Its not that I don't love you, its' more that I don't trust you
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Its been a year since I've seen a living relative
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And it's just now that I'm starting to live
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But while I'm sitting here, choking on tears wishing I didn't care
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Feeling all alone in this hemisphere, I swear upon everything I hold dear
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And then my wife come near, and I hear a voice whisper in my ear
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"You're going through all of this because you're special
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Not no superstar shit, I mean that God had to test you
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And all of this pain has been training for the day when you
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would lead us with the gift God gave to you
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Your parents might not see it but your babies do
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And there's a chance that you can save a few"
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And time would prove that, she started my movement
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She didn't tell me to take it, she told me to use it
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So I use it
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Picket Fence
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Brother Ali |