Please note that the Russian stuff in the song was left out here since I don't have that character set handy.
|
|
She said, "It's not drug abuse,
|
They're diet pills," was her excuse
|
Nobody wants a woman with a big caboose."
|
(You must forgive your mom)
|
She cleaned the house in half an hour
|
Mildew didn't have a chance in the shower
|
My mom was always higher than the ol' Sears tower
|
(Responsibility that sickens your heart)
|
My mom was no fat broad
|
|
She tied the tubing for a bulging vein
|
Hit that mainer then she sped away
|
Like the white tornado of Avenue A
|
(Your mother was very unhappy)
|
My mom was no fat broad
|
OOmpah Doompah Doompah Doompadee doo
|
Fear of bulbous rollin round lookin like Augustus Gloop
|
It's the runway model vogue
|
That made my momma swallow you
|
Momma's little helpers got her mind crazy singin' the blues
|
|
She kept her stash on top of the fridge
|
I tried to flush it down the toilet one time
|
I was six
|
I still remember the fit that she pitched
|
My mom was not fat...she was nuts.
|
|
They took the gurney down the stairs and the policeman said
|
That I could ride with him in his front seat
|
He said, "My little man, your mom is at peace."
|
|
My mom was no fat broad
|
|
-----------------
|
Mom Was No Fat Broad
|
Cherry Poppin' Daddies |