Parody of Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer by Elmo & Patsy (R. Brook), Kris Publishing Co./Elmo Publishing (SESAC)
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New lyrics by Cledus T. Judd and Bruce Burch, La-Po Music (BMI)/Bruce Burch Publishing (SESAC)
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CHORUS
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Grandpa got runned over by a John Deere
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Walking home from the Moose Lodge Christmas Eve.
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Now you can say there's no such thing as Santa,
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But after suing John Deere, I believe...
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He'd been a-guzzlin' old Jack Daniels
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And smokin' that wacky weed-
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He mixed it with his medication
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And run off with some bleach-blonde named Bernice.
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When we found him Christmas mornin'
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We thought he had a heart attack.
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But he had tar prints on his forehead
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And incriminatin' hickies on his neck.
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(ON HIS WHAT???)
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CHORUS
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But we're all ashamed of Grandpa.
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He took Grandma's death too well.
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Started watchin' porno movies
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And engaging in phone sex with Cousin Belle.
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It's a better Christmas without Grandpa
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Last year in church, he mooned the choir.
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At first, we thought it was Alzheimer's,
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But looking back, we realized he was wired.
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CHORUS
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Yeah, I filed myself a lawsuit
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And they awarded me two mil.
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You know Grandpa didn't leave me nuthin',
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But thanks to that old John Deere, he got killed.
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Funny, all my friends and neigh-bras
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Turned up on the grand jury,
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(laughs) I bribed 'em like Johnny Cochran
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Did when they set O.J. Simpson free.
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GUIL-TY!!!
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CHORUS (x2)
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Grandpa Got Runned Over By A John Deere (Bonus Track)
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Cledus T. Judd |