It's important to practice good hygiene
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At least if you wanna run with my team
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I'm bout to get into some shit that I've seen
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This fool's breath, I mean so bad it'll melt your ice cream
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They say don't say nothing if you can't say nice things
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Sittin too close to him it burned, like my eyes sting
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I try to be subtle, hand him a stick of gum
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I was a victim of breath on hum
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Running his yap about what sets he from
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Gotta get some gum gotta get him some
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He turned it down, his teeth was brown
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Excruciating, foreign, it was a new sensation
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I had to ask the dope to pass the soap
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Cuz his toe had the stench of crustaceans
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Or bathrooms in a bus station
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He had a can of Olde E and some raisins
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Amazing... head to toe B.O.
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He didn't know, used to the fragrance
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Just as the days went without bathing
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He felt manly and not like a maiden
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He had one dread, and fungus
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Said he worked on peoples' toilets with plungers
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Girls, not the guy you would want to tongue ya
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So guys take your cue from this little number
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[CHORUS] (x2)
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You gotta wash your ass, if you must
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You gotta wash your hair, if you must
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You gotta brush your teeth, if you must
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Or else you'll be funkaaaaaay!
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Now at class you need total concentration
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But there's kids in the back holdin conversations
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Crackin on each other, and neither were poster boys
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Both of 'em smell like the type that soap avoids
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Coast enjoy the leave of absence
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One's fool's feet smelled like it struck some matchsticks
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Brimstone, girls would never bring him home
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I was laughin, then his friend raised his tone
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And said, "Bud you rolled all over yourself"
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"Yeah"
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I'll go so deep on your ass you'll be submerged
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Like you need to do with water cuz you smell like a turd
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Wanna cap get some courage, your feet smell lurid
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Well look it up
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And while you're at it, get a cup
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And squeeze the sweat out your sweatshirt and drink it or gargle
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You get our vote for most stinkiest
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That nigga started thinkin' that shit, said I was frail
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I said he was stale
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Underarms is ripe
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Undergarments might, 'bout to leap out your holy sweats
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And we holdin bets, and after this I'm gonna collect
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Nigga, check yourself
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Respect yourself
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And wash your mothafuckin body 'fore your sweatshirt melt
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Like radioactive, no lady find you attractive
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The funk got you captive
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You don't need a map, bitch
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[CHORUS] (x2)
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You gotta wash your ass, if you must
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You gotta wash your hair, if you must
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You gotta brush your teeth, if you must
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Or else you'll be funkaaaaaay!
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-----------------
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If You Must
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Del The Funky Homosapien |