- Mr. Chandler, MC Chris is here to see you.
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- Brrr, send him in!
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- Hey! Mr. Chandler, what's happening man?
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- Heeeey kid...
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- How you doing? I haven't seen you in like forever man.
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- Yeah yeah...
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- What's happening? What you call me here for man?
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- Come over here, take a pew, sit down, lets talk some business.
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- Shiiit man, and you look great! I haven't seen you in like forever man, you like lost weight.
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- Thanks.
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- You, did you get lasik surgery?
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- Lasik surgery? No! I got 20-20 vision. Are you drunk?
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- Yes, I am drunk. Aaaand I'm proud of it, there was a show last night and it was off the hizzle for bliggle.
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And we did some cocaine and some methamphetamines, by seven o'clock in the morning I was riding a
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whole team of horses on the ocean, the skin of the water man.
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- What? What's the matter with you?
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- What?
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- You spending money we don't have man! You gotta remember my fortune's tied to yours! My kids are
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eating out of dumpsters. Look at this! Look at this thin sliver of a desk I have. They repossessed 80%
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of my desk! And you know how much I like hotdogs! There's no room for hotdogs on my desk anymore! You see that?
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What's wrong with you? You gotta start making mooneeey!
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- I'm sorry! I'm trying the best I possibly can! I'm just one man! Have you heard the new songs man? You heard
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the skits?
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- Yeah, but the songs stinks! And the skits are costing too much cheddar maaan!
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- We, we need those skits they break up the monotony of the music and people come to exp...
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- I don't get the whole skit thing, frankly they're not funny. They're NOT funny.
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- It's funny aaaand people love 'em.
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- It's just references. Who's getting these references?
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- A lot of people are! Everybody gets when you hear something you've heard before that's comedyyyy!
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- No, that's not comedy. The songs you're writing now are garbage. Everybody hates them.
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- What are you talking about? They're hilarious!
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- You gotta get back to your roots. What was that song everybody liked?
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- Hijack?
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- Uhah! No! The song, that everybody liked. It was popular. People quoted it.
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- Tussin.
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- Tussin?! No! What the hell is Tussin? It was the song about the guy from Star Wars in his car...
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- Fett's Vette, Fett's Vette.
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- No, it was the bounty hunter from Star Wars in his...
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- Yeah, it's Fett's Vette Mr. Chandler!
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- No, it was that guy, he was a bounty hunter, he was in Star Wars...
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- Mr. Chandler! It's Fett's Vette! Listen to me! Look at me! Look at me in the eye! It's Fett's Vette!
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- What was it?
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- Fett's Vette!
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- Yeah, Fett's Vette, that's it. You gotta write more songs like Fett's Vette. Come on, there were like twelve
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bounty hunters on that super star destroyer.
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- Ahhh! Come on Mr. Chandler it's played out! You can't ask me to do this!
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- It's not played out, what am I telling you here? You gotta write more songs about bounty hunters from Star Wars, in vehicles.
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Like. I can't believe I'm coming up with this for ya. Uh uh, Zuckuss' Prius or uuuhh, IG-88's '57 Chevy.
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- Awwhh Mr. Chandler!
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- Dengar's Dump Truck!
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- No!
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- They are great ideas, listen. If you put Bossk on a Segway, you gonna sell records!
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Now let me cleverly use that to segue to my next point to you, which is that you gotta get out on the red carpet!
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- I get out on the red carpet all the time! Me... I ate my girls last night! Yum!
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- No! I'm not talking about giving cunnilingus while a woman is menstruating.
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I'm talking about getting out there, shaking people's hands.
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I'm talking about getting the name out there! Get into some car accidents with Lindsey Lohan!
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- I can't into a car accident they won't let me drive a car cause I have a pegleg.
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- Keep fighting me, see where it gets ya. Get out there! Get to the YouTube awards! Get to the internet Emmies!
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- They have those?
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- I don't know if they have those! Get on the internet, find out! And if they exist, go to them! You gotta get out and impress the flesh!
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- Ah!
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- Mr Chandler, those two assassins you hired to kill MC Chris one the red carpet so as to cement his icon status and increase record sa |