It floats up the stairs, it floats down the hall.
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It floats into my bedroom, right through the wall.
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It glides post my dresser, to the bedpost. I swear.
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I'm looking at a ghost! Naaaaa!
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There's no such thing! It's not a ghost,
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because there's no such thing. No such thing.
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I can't be frightened of a globby, green, glow,
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'cause there's no such thing.
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It plays the piano, it swings on the swing.
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It does a lot considering there's no such thing.
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Then it boots my computer, as quick as you please.
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It floats on the keyboard. It presses some keys.
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"What creature may you be?" came up on the screen.
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I type in, "a human being."
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Suddenly, the rooms goes as icy as winter,
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and something came out of the printer...
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"No such thing! You can't be human, cause there's no such thing.
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Those human stories, they scare ghosts so,
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but we know there's no such to thing!"
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Now hold the phone! I'm really real!
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"You're not!," "are not!," "You're wrong". I cried!
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"All right, let's play a game of cards to decide."
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"Okay. Whoever wins the game, that one's real."
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He types out, "You got it. Now deal!."
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I ask him for aces, he types out "you wish."
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He asks me for sevens. I type out "You wish!"
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"Jacks?" "Sorry." "Queens?" "No." "Sixes?" "huh-uh." "Twos?"
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We play for a hour, and guess what? I lose!
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"No such thing. You don't exist! There's so such thing!"
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It made me crazy to be told where to go
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by something who's no such thing.
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The story now is over, the story is through.
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And some of you may even think this story is true.
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But, there's no such thing.
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It didn't happen, cause there's no such thing.
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I made the whole thing up, so I outta know.
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And I know there's no such things.
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There's no such thing.
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There's no such thing.
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I hope!
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The Ghost Song (No Such Thing)
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Mary-Kate And Ashley Olsen |