Well, I was feelin' sad and feelin' blue,
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I didn't know what in the world I was gonna do,
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Them Communists they wus comin' around,
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They wus in the air,
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They wus on the ground.
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They wouldn't gimme no peace...
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So I run down most hurriedly
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And joined up with the John Birch Society,
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I got me a secret membership card
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And started off a-walkin' down the road.
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Yee-hoo, I'm a real John Bircher now!
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Look out you Commies!
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Now we all agree with Hitlers' views,
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Although he killed six million Jews.
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It don't matter too much that he was a Fascist,
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At least you can't say he was a Communist!
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That's to say like if you got a cold you take a shot of malaria.
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Well, I wus lookin' everywhere for them gol-darned Reds.
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I got up in the mornin' 'n' looked under my bed,
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Looked in the sink, behind the door,
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Looked in the glove compartment of my car.
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Couldn't find 'em...
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I wus lookin' high an' low for them Reds everywhere,
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I wus lookin' in the sink an' underneath the chair.
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I looked way up my chimney hole,
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I even looked deep inside my toilet bowl.
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They got away...
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Well, I wus sittin' home alone an' started to sweat,
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Figured they wus in my T.V. set.
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Peeked behind the picture frame,
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Got a shock from my feet, hittin' right up in the brain.
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Them Reds caused it!
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I know they did... them hard-core ones.
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Well, I quit my job so I could work alone,
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Then I changed my name to Sherlock Holmes.
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Followed some clues from my detective bag
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And discovered they wus red stripes on the American flag!
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That ol' Betty Ross...
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Well, I investigated all the books in the library,
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Ninety percent of 'em gotta be burned away.
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I investigated all the people that I knowed,
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Ninety-eight percent of them gotta go.
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The other two percent are fellow Birchers... just like me.
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Now Eisenhower, he's a Russian spy,
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Lincoln, Jefferson and that Roosevelt guy.
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To my knowledge there's just one man
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That's really a true American: George Lincoln Rockwell.
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I know for a fact he hates Commies cus he picketed the movie Exodus.
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Well, I fin'ly started thinkin' straight
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When I run outa things to investigate.
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Couldn't imagine doin' anything else,
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So now I'm sittin' home investigatin' myself!
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Hope I don't find out anything... hmm, great God!
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-----------------
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Talkin' John Birch Paranoid Blues
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Bob Dylan |