How much tequila did I drink last night?
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It's really anybody's guess.
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I poured them so fast,
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I couldn't keep them in the glass,
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But this morning I sure am a mess.
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My head is four or five times its normal size
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And I got this big old cactus stuck between my eyes.
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I can't recall a single thing I did or said
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Or the names of all these people sleeping in this bed.
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Tell me how, tell me how, tell me how, tell me how,
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Tell me how much tequila did I drink last night?
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How did I get these cuts and bruises all over my body?
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I must have fallen down somehow.
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I believe it had something to do with karate
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-- It's all coming back to me now.
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I was standing in a bar with King Kong's cousin,
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He must have been seven foot three.
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His elbow gave me a bump, and so I said "Hey, chump,
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Would you like to step outside with me?"
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Tell me how, tell me how, tell me how, tell me how,
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Tell me how much tequila did I drink last night?
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My mouth is filled with cotton and my brain is sore.
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I left last night's dinner on this morning's floor.
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My stomach is swollen and my eyeballs shrunk.
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I drank so much that my hair got drunk.
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I see a big old worm about ten feet long
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Hallucinating purple cows.
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Somebody moved the furniture while I was gone.
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Uh oh, this is not my house.
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I could call us a taxi on the telephone
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If I only knew where we are.
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I guess I'm gonna have to drive myself back home
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As soon as I can find the car.
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Tell me how, tell me how, tell me how, tell me how,
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Tell me how much tequila did I drink last night?
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-----------------
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How Much Tequila (Did I Drink Last Night? )
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John Prine |