A capital ship for an ocean trip
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Was the Walloping Window Blind.
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No gale that blew dismayed her crew
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Or troubled the captain's mind.
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The man at the wheel was taught to feel
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Contempt for the wildest blow.
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And it often appeared when the weather had cleared
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That he'd been in his bunk below.
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The boatswain's mate was very sedate,
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Yet fond of amusement too;
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And he played hopscotch with the starboard watch
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While the captain tickled the crew.
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And the gunner we had was apparently mad
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For he stood on the cannon's tail,
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And fired salutes in the captain's boots
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In the teeth of a booming gale.
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The captain sat in a commodore's hat
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And dined in a royal way
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On toasted pigs and pickles and figs
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And gummery bread each day.
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But the rest of us ate from an odious plate
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For the food that was given the crew
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Was a number of tons of hot cross buns
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Chopped up with sugar and glue.
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We all felt ill as mariners will
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On a diet that's cheap and rude,
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And the poop deck shook when we dipped the cook
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In a tub of his gluesome food.
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Then nautical pride we laid aside,
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And we cast the vessel ashore
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On the Gulliby Isles, where the Poohpooh smiles
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And the Anagzanders roar.
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Composed of sand was that favored land
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And trimmed in cinnamon straws;
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And pink and blue was the pleasing hue
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Of the Tickletoeteasers claws.
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We climbed to the edge of a sandy ledge
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And soared with the whistling bee,
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And we only stopped at four o'clock
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For a pot of cinnamon tea.
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From dawn to dark, on rubagub bark
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We fed, till we all had grown
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Uncommonly thin. Then a boat blew in
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On a wind from the torriby zone.
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She was stubby and square, but we didn't much care,
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And we cheerily put to sea.
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We plotted a course for the Land of Blue Horse,
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Due west 'cross the Peppermint Sea.
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The Walloping Window Blind
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Natalie Merchant |