This is for my little girl, wherever she may be tonight.
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You think I’d fuckin know where my daughter was tonight, it’s a brand new song I gotta work with these intros a little bit.
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Alright here we go.
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My lady gives birth today,
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I run to her room right away.
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She smiles with glee,
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Then hands her to me.
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I look at my newborn and say
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Damn that’s a ugly baby!
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Damn that’s a ugly ass baby!
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Im feeling quite concerned,
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My semen must have turned
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Cause damn that’s an ugly baby!
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This is just what I feared.
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Her head is misshapen and weird
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She’s skinny like a twig,
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At least her nuts are big.
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But her hair color doesn’t match her beard.
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Damn that’s a ugly baby!
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God damn that’s an ugly ass baby!
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I give the doc a smackin’ say,
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Can’t ya stuff her back in?
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Cause damn that’s a ugly mow mow
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And when she smiles I find,
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Shane McGowan comes to mind.
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It makes me want to cry,
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When I look into her good eye.
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I always wanted kids.
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Is it wrong to hope for SIDS?
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Fuck you its my fuckin’ baby!
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Then the doctor calls me in.
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Mr. Lynch, she has a twin
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Damn thats a good lookin’ baby
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1 for 2! On the good lookin’ babies
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I almost start to weep,
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Now this one we can keep.
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Cause that was an ugly ass baby.
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*Mark Teich*
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damn that’s an ugly ass baby
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-Ladys and gentlemen, Mark Teich!
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Damn that’s a ugly baby…..
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Come on everybody now sing along!
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Jus the guys now, damn that’s a ugly baby
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Jus the ladies, damn that’s a ugly baby
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Jus the people who were ugly babies, dam…
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Yeah motha fuckers I got ya!
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Yeah well she’s got one good tooth and one ear and one eye,
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And thank god just one nose but its on her left thigh
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The thought of changing her diaper each day,
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Or powdering her ass with that tail in the way,
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I think I could get a good price on eBay.
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Oh no... I just made that up.. Not me!...
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I don’t want no ugly baby
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I said damn that’s a ugly baby
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Damn that’s a ugly baby! *ad nauseum*
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-----------------
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Ugly Baby
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| Stephen Lynch |
