Mike Ethan Messick
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Everyday in lunch in high school,
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And all of my senior year,
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I'd drink my Coca-Cola with a touch of everclear.
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I never had to study math, science or history,
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I'd have a chemical flashback to jog my memory.
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In my junior year I swore I loved sweet Miss Sherrie-Ann,
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One night I put some everclear in her Dr. Pepper can.
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I thought it'd make her easy, but she took it pretty hard,
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I took her home and rang her doorbell, left her lyin' in the yard.
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Tequila dries me out, and beer just makes me fat.
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Whiskey makes me nauseous, tell me who the hell needs that?
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If you're thinkin' about drinkin', then the answer's crystal clear,
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Its the invisible intoxicant....its called everclear.
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I remember my church picnic in the spring of '89,
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They had 4 fresh watermelon sliced right off the vine.
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When they bowed their heads giving grace for the food,
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Hey, I pulled out the bottle, and I soaked them melons good.
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Well they never knew what hit 'em, when the potion went to work,
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They had Grandma's doin' backflips, Grandpa's lookin' up their skirts.
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They were singing Hallelujah and Willie Nelson songs,
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Preacher said it was the best dang picnic,
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That the baptists had ever thrown.
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Tequila dries me out, and beer just makes me fat.
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Whiskey makes me nauseous, tell me who the hell needs that?
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If you're thinkin' about drinkin', then the answer's crystal clear,
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Its the invisible intoxicant....its called everclear.
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When I'm drinkin' everclear, I think I'm king of this whole world,
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I'm bigger and badder than John Wayne and cooler than Steve Earle.
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Until I wake up and I'm face down in the hall,
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Hey, I'm completely naked, for a reason I can't recall.
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Well I'm kinda, sorta thinkin' that maybe I met a chick,
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'Cause there's perfume in the air, and there's lipstick on my neck.
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Well I hope that she was pretty and I hope that she was kind,
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Enough to leave my clothes somewhere they're easy to find.
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Tequila dries me out, and beer just makes me fat.
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Whiskey makes me nauseous; tell me who the hell needs that?
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If you're thinkin' about drinkin', then the answer's crystal clear,
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It¡¯s the invisible intoxicant....its called everclear.
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Everclear
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Roger Creager |