[Chorus]
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I got a hangnail! What! Got a hangnail! What!
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Got a hangnail like you just wouldn't believe
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I got a hangnail! What! Got a hangnail! What!
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Got a hangnail! And I think it's starting to bleed!
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[Verse One]
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I got a, hangnail stickin out my pinky finger
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And no matter how I pull it there's a tiny piece that lingers
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I twist it and I yank- yank, I turn it like a crank- crank
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I feel like I'm tryin to crack a safe at a bank
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I never thought that anything so small could be so irritating
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Flappy thin and fascinating, cuticle-ly captivating
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Still I'm waiting just to find a method for removal
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That's effective, not subjective, and will have my mom's approval
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It gets my full attention 'til I finally get it off
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It's beyond my comprehension why sometimes it's hard and soft
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I don't know where they come from and I don't know where they go
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But do they get the best of me, I gotta say hell no
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Sometimes it takes my teeth sometimes it takes an act of God
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But I always get it off if it takes off half my bod
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So check out all your fingers if you got one out of luck
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Then you gotta 'gree with me, I tell ya, hangnails suck
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[Chorus]
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I got a hangnail here! Got a hangnail there!
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They got a cocky attitude and they don't show any fear
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I got a hangnail here! Got a hangnail there!
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And when I pull it off it comes out up to here!
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[Verse Two: Tom Rockwell - Sudden Death]
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I got a, hangnail now I'm feelin kinda odd
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Now I'm startin to get queasey as my finger starts to throb
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It's just a little flapper tell me what could be the harm
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I tried to pull it off and it ripped all up my arm
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I had a hangnail, there I was drivin down I-95
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and got it caught in the gear shift and now I'm just
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strivin to keep my car in the damn lane
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And restrain the pain and try not to go insane
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I got a hangnail, I feel so frail like Mr. Burns
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And my finger burns, it never learns
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... hey, what happened to the song?
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I got a hangnail, so the mix came out wrong
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I tell ya, hangnails make it tough to get a date
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When the women see my fingers they just tend to run away
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Like Friday night, started out alright but then declined
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When the thing broke off and fell in my glass of wine
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So I got rejected, hangnail got infected
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Now I'm sittin home alone pus filled and neglected
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Pissed at my finger, gonna set the thing straight
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If it doesn't shape up I'm gonna amputate
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[Chorus]
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I got a hangnail, what, got a hangnail, what
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Got a hangnail, another one is startin to grow
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I got a hangnail, what, got a hangnail, what
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Got a hangnail, another one on my big toe
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[Verse Three]
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I got a, hangnail now isn't that a pity
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Launching an investigation and I'm forming a committee
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Gonna get to the bottom of the problem if I can
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So let's pay close attention to the matter at hand
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Actually the matter's at foot this time
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Got a hangnail hangin off my toe this time
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How bad could it be it's just a little flap of skin
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You just gotta yank it out and then that'll be the end
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Pull it out, no doubt, then I start to scream and shout
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Thus begins round one of a twelve round bout
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It's stuck in so hard I gotta get a pair of pliers
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Now I'm gettin kinda tired I think my foot is on fire
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I gotta get a jackhammer just to dig around the nail
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Now I'm gettin kinda faint because the air is gettin stale
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I didn't use an anastehtic but I'm thinkin that I should've
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Now I got half a mind to just cut my whole foot off
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Nail clippers do nothin, sandpaper doesn't work
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I even tried hedgeclippers, now I'm really gettin irked
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This has gotta be the most annoying thing I ever saw
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I may have to resort to the mighty chainsaw
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[Chorus]
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I got a hangnail, what, got a hangnail, what
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I got a hangnail, causing lots of pain as I walk
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I got a hangnail, what, got a hangnail, what
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I got a hangnail, I got it caught on my damn sock
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I got a hangnail, yeah, got a hangnail, yeah
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When I finally get 'em out they leave ugly skin trails
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I got a hangnail, yeah, got a hangnail, yeah
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I only got 10 fingers, I got 40 hangnails!
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-----------------
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Hangnail
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| Sudden Death |
