Things That Make You Go...
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I was at a club, sittin' with my friends
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Watchin' all the girls as they walked on through
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She came from behind put her hands on my eyes
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In a very soft voice, she said "guess who"
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I didn't have a clue, didn't recognize the voice
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Her fingers seemed wrinkled so I did my only choice
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I turned around slow and opened my eyes
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And nothing could have ever prepared my for the surprise
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She said "I'm a walking sex machine"
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But the ho was no younger than 73
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Flabby grandma breasts hanging down to her waist
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Cellulite flappin' all over the place
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Sportin' spandex shorts bright pink and green
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She sat on my lap and broke my knee
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She breathed in my face and my lunch came up
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She's sickening
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Things That Make You Go...
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Here's what I ordered, started the horror
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In some restaurant south of the border
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Chicken and rice with a little bit of spice
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They made it sound good but it looked like wood
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Cut into the chicken, thought it was fried
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Maggotts came out and my appetite died
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The U.F.O.'s were served in sets
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Those are Undigestible Frying Objects
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The rice was plastic flavored with bugs
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Soda was nothing but carbonated blood
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I thought maybe the salad would be safe
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But the skunk cabbage gave it a terrible taste
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And the chocolate pudding, I don't know how made it
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I know what it looked like, I don't wanna say it
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The food tasted better as it came back up
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Things That Make You Go...
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Me and a friend went out to see a film
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A good horror flick with a lot of kills
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All night horror man I love that stuff
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But I didn't know my friend would take it so rough
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Seven bucks some soda and food
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I was in a pure intense gore mood
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The movie started, man I couldn't wait
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People were dying left and right it was great
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Time went by and the body count grew
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My friend just didn't know what to do
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My boy kept telling me, "Yo, I feel sick
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I better get out of this theater quick"
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I said "calm down, I know you'll be fine"
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So I was wrong, I couldn't read his mind
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The look on his face said vomit was near
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He said "I never should have watched..."
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Things That Make You Go...
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Hey ladies, have you ever seen a guy
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Who's ugly as sin and you don't know why
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But he kisses your lips and he says "hey toots"
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And now you feel as bad as he looks
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And then he's there with zits on his face
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So many in fact that skin is a waste
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He talks to you like there's nothing wrong
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But then he pops 'em and the pus flies long
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Mysterious smells just materialize
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Your lungs implode and there's tears in your eyes
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It ain't no use for you to plug your nose
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I wonder who farted when the elevator closed
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Dressed to express but he looks like a geek
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And he hasn't showered in three or four weeks
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You come home late and throw up in the sink
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Things That Make You Go...
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Things That Make You Go...
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Sudden Death |