The other day, I took a walk because the air was sweet.
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And I passed a crusty house of curmudgeon on our street.
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Now every town has got one, so I'm sure you'll understand,
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when I tell you this old bastard is a mean and bitter man!
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Now this day was special, I was wearing my new hat.
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The old curmudgeon saw this and he disapproved of that.
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He said 'I've had one just like it, for 10 years! You ripped me off! You've got no right to wear a hat like mine, so take it off!'
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Now as it happens, I'm a gentleman, so I approached his porch.
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I told him great minds think alike, and you have one, of course.
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So how 'bout I just tip my hat to you and I come on through?
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He reached down for his gun and said 'I'll shoot you if you do!'?
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And I said "no one's gonna cry at your funeral!
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No one's gonna drink at your wake!
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No one's gonna sigh with a tear in their eye!
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'cos no ones gonna miss you when you're dead!"
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Well the next day I forgot this whole damn mess and went to town.
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And there I saw a 100 or so posters all around.
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And on them was my face, and I was wearing my new hat.
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And they read, 'This guy ripped me off! I've got one just like that!'
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I took a walk down to his house to see if I could find a way to show him that we're kindren spirits of the mind.
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I said I didn't make these hats, and nor did you, of course.
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And hey! We both love Johnny Cash. He said 'Get off my porch!'
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and I said "no one's gonna cry at your funeral!
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No one's gonna drink at your wake!
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No one's gonna sigh with a tear in their eye!
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'cos no ones gonna miss you when you're dead!"
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When you look back on your life, what will you see?
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Did you spend your time mending fences or planting mines?
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There's no shortage of potential enemies.
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So don't waste so much time, pushing away your kind!
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I thought I must be stupid or just crazy from the heat,
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when I went down to the house of that curmudgeon on my street.
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Maybe it was foolish to go to his house again.
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Just to show this crazy, drunken fool he has a friend!
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When I got there, much to my surprise, he wasn't there.
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He was gone, as was his shotgun and his rocking chair.
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I asked the neighbour lady who was laying on her lawn
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'What happened to that mean old man?'
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She shrugged and that was all!
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And I said "no one's gonna cry at your funeral!
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No one's gonna drink at your wake!
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No one's gonna sigh with a tear in their eye!
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'cos no one's gonna miss you!
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Hell, no one's gonna notice!
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And I'll enjoy the silence!................................
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When! You're! Dead!"
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When You're Dead
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| Voltaire |
