by Townes Van Zandt
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Well, I ain't very big for twentyone
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and it seems I never could have any good clean fun
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cause every time I'd go outside some great big bully'd come along
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he'd hit me in the face and he'd knock to the ground
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and he'd start kickin' me all around
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and that ain't exactly fair, friends, that's wrong.
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So I got me a paper the other night
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and I crawled up on the sofa and I turned on the light
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and flipped through the pages till I found the classified ads.
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Said, "take karate from Lee Hung Chow;
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man, make your first appointment now
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this course is guaranteed to make you bad."
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Well, the next day I drove to the address
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by japanese design I was really impressed
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it looked like a regular house of the rising sun.
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I walked inside, I was all alone
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I had a nervous feeling down in my bones
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I was kind of sorry I'd ever even come.
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Then a giant jap came through the door
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he must have been about seven foot four
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and he looked like he's prone to easy aggrevation.
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He said, "Lee Hung Chow, Ah kee dung"
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that's japanese for fee fie foo fum
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I tried to explain my entire situation.
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He said, "Number one course, yankee, self defence,
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twohundred dollars and twentyfive cents";
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I said "What's the twentyfive cents for?" and he said, "Repairs."
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I said, "Repairs to what?", and he said "To you"
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and I thought to myself "Man, that won't do"
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felt about a half inch tall under that ol' slender stare
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Ah, you think he was yellow...
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I said, "I believe I better go check another place"
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he said, "Ha so, Yankee don't like my race"
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I said, "Now, there's a mistake, man, and that's true;
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I've been for you you japanese all along
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you japanese just can't do no wrong
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and I thought you got mighty dirty deal in World War II."
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Well, he grabbed me by the hand and gave a heave
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I figured there's a pretty good time to leave
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before he had a chance to do me any definite harm.
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But my plan worked out in the end, you see,
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now no bully is gonna pick on me
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who's gonna hit a fellow with just one arm?
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Talkin' karate blues
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Townes Van Zandt |