You're sort of famous
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A minor celebrity
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And so it only makes sense
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The world would be
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Obsessed with every
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Single thing you do
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They're running 'round
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With their camcorders in the night
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They're lurking patiently
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And hoping that they just might
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See something real embarrassing
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You do
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The bad hair day and sweat-stained t-shirt
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That's the story that
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They are gonna feature
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With exclusive pics
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Of your flabby behind
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You think you're all alone
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But that's right when you'll find
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A bunch of paparazzi
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Popping out of nowhere
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Cameras in your face
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And then suddenly
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You're on TMZ
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You're on TMZ
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Following you
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When you're walking down the street
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And asking stupid questions
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While you're trying to eat
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So you cover your face
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Thinking to yourself
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"Hey, isn't this creepy?"
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And they're out there praying
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You'll have a big meltdown
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And take a mono-little car chase
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Through this whole town
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They'll be there with you
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When you're going to jail
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First on the scene
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For every wardrobe fail
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You just picked up some transvestite
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Seconds later
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It's up on the website
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Get a vegas wedding
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A quickie divorce
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And they'll be
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Sneaking in
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Snapping pictures, of course
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And if they ever catch you
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Picking your nose
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Or storming down the street
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On a drunken spree
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You're on TMZ
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Stalking you, just waiting by your front door
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Trailing you through
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Airport security
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They're with TMZ
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They're with TMZ
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[We caught this oscar nominee picking up DOG POOP
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Is that a baby back there?
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I pronounce you guilty, of leaving the house while FAT
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Look Who's drinking COFFEE,
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Everything celebrities do is FASCINATING]
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Oh, let me tell you
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It's getting to the point
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Where a famous person can't
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Even get a D.U.I
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Or go on a racist rant
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Those guys are all around
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So you really shouldn't dare
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Go to every club in town
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If you've lost your underwear
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Seems that every single time
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A star decides to shave their head
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Or ram their car into a tree
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They're on TMZ
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If they catch you peeing in the bushes
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Later on, that night
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Well, I guarantee
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You're on TMZ
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You're on TMZ
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You're on TMZ
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Every single celebrity
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Knows they're gonna be
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They're on TMZ
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-----------------
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TMZ
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Weird Al Yankovic |