Hey Mom, hey Dad, I'm home
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Look, Hunny, it's our little mistake!
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Come give mommie a hug, but be careful, I'm on the rag!
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Mmm, cherry slushies for everyone!
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Haha, how was your day?*
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For starters it sucked ass 'cause my boss is a dickhead
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God handed out sticks and gave me the shit-end
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Ridden with hoes, no kiddin' like one's spittin'
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Got two right on my neck, three blister and on my dick-end
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Clock tickin', sickin' and stickin' these rhymes inside of a beat
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When really nobody's listen
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White trash, Johnny No-Cash
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Tried to sell weed but thugs slapped me and took my stash
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*Son, what's with the shitface?
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Golly fuck, Dad, heroin prices are through the roof
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and my allowance just won't cut it anymore. I'm jonesin' for a hit!
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Try whorin' your body, like Mom does!*
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The local outcast with a rash on my inner thigh
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Tryin' to outrun these bitches who all want me to die
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Waitin' for some rappers to die so maybe I can get a chance
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Without a song about makin' bitches dance
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I hope all the clubs close
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'Cause so many assholes trapped in one building
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Should burn like great white shows
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And all our hope is to pose a threat
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Try to change what rap music hopes and I forget
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The sitcom ain't real, what it's about
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Money's for gangstas not high school dropouts
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My life never resembled an episode of Full House
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You stay stuck in this town you'll scream 'til your lungs come out
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The sitcom ain't real, what it's about
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Money's for gangstas not high school dropouts
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I get so frustrated the vein in my forehead pops out
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I'm more dead than dead people buried and forgotten about
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*Dad? I need to borrow $300
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$300? What for, son?
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Well, I got Jenny knocked up again!
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Son, did I ever tell you about your mother and the wire-hanger?*
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Clout? Nope, none of that
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America hates me like Yasur Arafat
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You fuckers remember that
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I feel obligated to tell you that in the past
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Oh yes, I playa-hated
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Now shit is different, now I'm playa-jaded
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Most of these so called MCs is overrated and outdated
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New dawn, and it's a red one
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The only good rapper to me is a dead one
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*Golly, Dad, is it ever O.K. to hit a woman?
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Son, in my day, it wasn't right to hit a woman.
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But now that equal rights have been established, you wallop that cunt!
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And kick her while she's down!*
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Nah, I'm just fuckin' around, I know I sound bitter
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I grew up in a town where white kids say "What up, nigga?"
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When they all wanna be, it's ironic to me that that's what I get called
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Just 'cause I wanna jump up on a beat
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So fuck all you assholes, past present and future
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Hope a young thug fires at me, misses and shoots ya
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I wouldn't lie, man, I tell the truth to ya
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There's no tellin' what this fuckin' town'll do to ya
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The sitcom ain't real, what it's about
|
Money's for gangstas not high school dropouts
|
My life never resembled an episode of Full House
|
You stay stuck in this town you'll scream 'til your lungs come out
|
The sitcom ain't real, what it's about
|
Money's for gangstas not high school dropouts
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I get so frustrated the vein in my forehead pops out
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I'm more dead than dead people buried and forgotten about
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Most of you assholes all think you gangstas
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99% of you's are fuckin' fake, ain't ya's?
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That's why I hate ya's
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Verbal Heaven's gate knock a fuckin' hole in my head, insert a metal plate
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I feel empty, kinda plastic
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When this shit drops I'ma get my fuckin' ass kicked
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But that's O.K. with me, I'd die for the cause
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'Cause my only purpose in life is to fuck with ya'lls
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I hate your fuckin' guts 'cause my record got bumped back
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You went double-platinum, I went double-hubcap
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A rugrat, you'd be pissed too suckin' a freshly dubbed track
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What the fuck would you do?
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*Gee whillikers Dad, does it ever get any easier?
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Son, if there's one thing I've learned it's this:
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We're all gonna live and die in this shitty, shitty town* (He's right)
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And the funny thing is, he is right. I bid you farewell
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from Shit Town, America, folks. Get home safe,
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ladies and gentlemen. Hold your girlfriends tight,
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and pretend not to notice their mouths taste li |